Thursday, August 24, 2006

Random Thoughts...

"Wanting to write something,which is hidden,
I write that something, not meant to be written."

Well, for a past few days, I am feeling restless.Nothing to do, nowhere to go and thoroughly confused about what to do.So that is a brief overview of my mind's state.Last few days have really been a hard time for me. Its that time when you know that you have to do many things but still you are doing nothing, because you don't feel like doing anything and why you feel like not doing anything is still a mystery. You then think its better to let the things as they are and not to worry about them. But the more you try to avoid these things the more you are into it. You don't want to unfurl that mystery but still you are curious, thats human nature. Your mind is always in a conflict and running through contradictions, well thats my mind am talking about. I have lots to think about and lots to do. But I am taking this time as to relax and more than relaxing, I am getting impatient. I know that I have to prepare for my job, to do some work entrusted upon me by my parents ( well I had voluntarily asked them, that I would do that work ), to clean my room ( hahaha... I usually do that when I have got no place to sit ;) ) and the most important of all study for CAT. But as the gods are in my favour, I have become lazy to that extent that now even eating food has become a trying job for me. God knows what I am trying to do and where am I trying to lead myself and my life. Today the things were so unbearable for me that I just wanted to went out my anger or frustrations as many would say somewhere so I thought that this would be the place.
People usually change from good to better but yours truly is changing from bad to worse. Its that state of life that I detest the most. Why?? Because here I am having no pressure to do anything. My parents are satisfied about their ward, my friends are not in the town ( only a few are, but they are also busy ), my company is not calling me before Oct and whenever I sit for studtying I feel hungry or have a headache ;) . I am not enjoying the things that I used to enjoy , that is reading and music. Am fed up with computers and net. And above all, when I tell people what my life is going through, I am advised very sincerely that I should take a break and go for a holiday. So, now am totally confused what to do and what not to do. Therefore, I decided today that I would pour out my mind in this space. And frankly, speaking am feeling a lillte better, who knows by tomorrow I would be alright or might go more deep into the misery. Still, I hope for the best and am planning to do some better things now. And try to reorganise my life.
So, I just say God Bless Me :D and also God Bless you All ( as I know you all would be thinking I have gone mad and by making you all read these thoughts making you mad )

Have a great time fellas,
C ya soon,

Manish :)


chandan said...

Hey sorry..just saw ur posting n decided to comment.. Good thoughts, seems the little boy is growing up.. :)

So howz it ? Is the phase over and are u feeling better ? I am sure u are.. We all go through such phases in life..just search for more positive energies coming in your way... Take care..