Sunday, May 28, 2006

Time goes on...

I looked back on time, when thy said it was mine.
I took all the sacks, so that into them " time" I could pack.
I tried n tried, but all in vain. The end result was still the same.
I just let more of it slip away then the amount I could catch.
And then it dawned upon me, I was catching that could not be caught.
The time bygone was never mine, the time to come is not mine,
its the present time that is mine and am wasting it all the time.
I again looked back and the time was smiling and then I realized,
it was something that I could never catch but yes I can live upto full,
the time I have with me, the time I can live within.

I came to write something today and thought writin bout the current affairs, but the above lines flowed even before on the screen I did stare. This was something totally unexpected as nothing was in my concious mind but yup, nobody can vouch for the subconcious.
Today, I had my 3rd paper and now only one is left. Yesterday night, when I laid on my bed and was letting my thoughts flow. I suddenly realised that I was thinking about my past few years : how they had been? how I had fared all these years and all. It was nothing specific to start with but later on something stirred my mind. Past few months for me had both happy and sad memories. But I chose to remember the happy ones :) . I made a lot of friends and god was really gracious to have bestowed to me some very good friends. My time spent with them though was small but it was really of high quality. All these things made me happy.
But now as I sat writing, somethings pinching me. Its all about to change, the times, the surroundings and all. As they say " Nothing is permanent except change" , I was just thinking is it necessary for everything, yes, everything to change. Then, it suddenly dawned upon me : Was I holding things too tight? Was I trying to hold time in my hand? Was I just like any other person, not wanting to accept the truth? Or am I sensitive or insensitive?
Don't know what to say, but this question of being sensitive and insensitive really bugged me. It really one important question to which's answer am desperately trying to find out. Does being practical means you are insensitive ? Or I may put it in a some better words - Does taking the reality into your stride means you are insensitive or you dont care for people? Am really at loss for this thing. I know that now the time is not far when I will have to forgo my home, when I will be joining my job. And when I would leave this city, I would also leave many things behind. But, it does not mean that I will leave my old relations behind. They were there,they are there, they will be there and will remain for eons. But, for some its an end to relations and all. You could not have each and everything you want, for gaining something, somethings have to be forgone. So, its upto you what do you want and what choice you make and then you continue on that path.
Its again the same old story with me, trying to tell something else and something other has come out. But, then this topic was also looming in mind mind for sometime back, so it came out here. Its a few days left for me to leave this place and start afresh, but then I want to live my life in present and while trying to do so, I don't try to hurt anyone, but still if I have done that in the process am sorry for it.
So, there goes my thoughts.... and lets see when something new crops up here.... till then...
bbye
take care

Yours
Manish

4 comments:

Keshi said...

**I've tried all sorts of illegal drugs there is except heroine and ecstacy.


very true...one cant have everything in life...alot of sacrifices will be met. thats why each of us r unique and blessed/cursed in our own ways...

See u soon!
Keshi.

Kishley said...

yaar tu sochta biot hai :) Or am I sensitive or insensitive? vaise does it really matter.. just be wat u wanna be n wat u wanna think.. dun worry abt wat u shd be or wat u shd be thinking abt.. that is the key to happiness

Chaitra said...

hi...
i agree that u think a lot...
dekh yaar..we are all goin thru the same phases of our lives...
n the best thing that can b done is ...dont think...
let things happen...accept everything...n try to b happy...
leavin the family,the city n the frens...is the one thing that cant b avoided now...
so accept it all with a smile..n keep it all with ur wonderful memories....
thinkin less will help...
keep busy n be happy..
tc

Manish said...

@All
U knw sometimes u cannot avoid thinkin... and then crops aal those things that u dont wanna think about...
neways...thnx

tc n god bless u all
Manish