Lost in the crowd

Too alone too lost...

2011-11-14T22:55:00.002+05:30

Kahan jaa raha hun aaj yeh kisko hai pata,
Jaane humse ho gayi kaunsi yeh khata,
Kya socha tha aur kya hai asal mein zindagi meri,
Kaisi bataun woh baatein jo shayad kabhi na thi meri.
Ban kar aaj khud se main anjaan,
Bhatak raha dar badar yun har subah aur sham,
Kisi mehfil ki hua karte the hum kabhi shaan,
Aaj kahin nahi hai mera koi naamo nishan.
Ugte sooraj ko karta hai har parinda bhi salaam,
Socha tha karunga main bhi roshan apna naam,
Kisne socha tha aayega bhi ek din aisa mukaam,
Na rahi ab koi hasti na koi naam bas ek chehra jo hai gumnaam.
Aye khuda tune bhi accha yeh manzar dikhaya,
Har hansti soorat ne mujhe hai aaj rulaya,
Kyon meri kismat par tune grahan lagaya,
Hun toh tera he ansh, mujhe dukh deke tune kya paya.
Har aanson ke katre mein baha hai dard mera,
Har shaam ke baad mila na koi savera,
Jo sochi thi mere mann ne ek unchi udaan,
Maula mere ab lele meri jaan...

कॉलेज के वोह सुहाने पल...

2011-02-27T00:20:00.003+05:30

क्या सोचा था मैंने, क्या मैंने है पाया,

जाऊं मैं कैसे छोड़ के तेरा साया,

वोह दिन मस्ती के दोस्तों के संग,

दिल में लाखों थे अरमान और उमंग,

हर ख्वाइश देखि तेरे आँचल तले,

जाने मेरे मन में हज़ारों ख्वाब पले,

तुझसे हर किसी को मिली ज़िन्दगी में नयी डगर,

किसी को मिले दोस्त तो किसी को हमसफ़र,

सोचा नहीं था तुझसे बिछडने का होगा इतना गम,

फिर क्यों हो गयी है आज मेरी आँखें नम,

छुट रहा है यह जहाँ प्यारा,

धुंधला हो रहा है आसमां सारा,

नयी डगर पे हम सबको अब है चलना,

फिर एक नए मोड़ पे तुझसे है मिलना,

अब अलविदा कहने का वक़्त है आया,

मेरे नाम में रहेगा हर दम तेरा साया,

भूलूंगा नहीं फिर लौट के आऊंगा,

सबके संग फिर वही वक़्त बिताऊंगा,

नम आँखों से कहता हूँ सबको मैं अलविदा,

फिर मिलेंगे हम यह वादा रहा...

Mohabbat ka Bazaar...

2010-11-20T01:06:00.002+05:30

Aaj phir dil se ek nikli hai ek pukar,
Aaj phir pahunch gaya hun main bazaar,
Jahan har modh pe bikta hai jhoota pyar,
Jahan banti hai bas sacche pyar ki mazaar.

Har lafz kehta hai ek nayi dastan,
Oh! humsafar tujhme hai mera saara jahan,
Tere liye aaye hain hum yahan,
In farebiyon se bachke ab jaun kahan.

Kaun hai mera jo ab samjhe ja mujhe,
Kisko bataun ab zakhm is dil ke,
Samajha tha maine khuda tujhe,
tune he kar diye dil ke hazaar tukde.

Nahi hai chahat ab chahat pane ki,
Kimat lagti hai yahan mohabbat lagane ki,
Imaan ko bech kar daun hai paisa kamane ki,
Yahi sacchai hai iss naye zamane ki...

The Solitary Reaper - By William Wordsworth

2010-10-20T16:52:00.004+05:30

This is one of those poems that comes back again and again to me. Although I had this when I was in primary school, but till date its crystal clear in my memory. I was thinking of penning down something but this poem came back again to me, thus I thought I would post the same here.
I love this because its filled with a certain kind of emotion that you can only feel but cannot tell someone. It comes out from deep within the heart and if you can connects directly to your heart. One of my favourite:

" The Solitary Reaper - by William Wordsworth"

"Behold her, single in the field,
Yon solitary Highland Lass!
Reaping and singing by herself;
Stop here, or gently pass!
Alone she cuts and binds the grain,
And sings a melancholy strain;
O listen! for the Vale profound
Is overflowing with the sound.

No Nightingale did ever chaunt
More welcome notes to weary bands
Of travellers in some shady haunt,
Among Arabian sands:
A voice so thrilling ne'er was heard
In spring-time from the Cuckoo-bird,
Breaking the silence of the seas
Among the farthest Hebrides.

Will no one tell me what she sings?--
Perhaps the plaintive numbers flow
For old, unhappy, far-off things,
And battles long ago:
Or is it some more humble lay,
Familiar matter of to-day?
Some natural sorrow, loss, or pain,
That has been, and may be again?

Whate'er the theme, the Maiden sang
As if her song could have no ending;
I saw her singing at her work,
And o'er the sickle bending;--
I listened, motionless and still;
And, as I mounted up the hill,
The music in my heart I bore,
Long after it was heard no more"

Meri zindagi...

2010-09-27T15:35:00.002+05:30

Ek naya andaaz laya hun,
Socha ki pehele aapko bata dun.
Chehre phi thi uski ek qatil muskan,
Dil mein tha armaan karun kaise pehchan.
Phele bar jab nazar hui unpar,
Hum toh as gir gaye gash khakar.
Hairat mein puchna sabne ki "Kya hua?"
Kaise bataun kisi zaalim ne aaj mere dil to chooa.
Aisa sunahara tha uska rang,
Udd jaun uske sanng bannke patang.
Nain the uske bade he kajrare,
Awaaz pe uski marte the saare.
Ab na raha mujhe din ka hosh,
Na re rahi meri raatein khamosh.
Bas leta hun ab main tera he naam,
Kyon karta hai zamana mujhe pareshan.
Tujh pe jaaye saari duniya vaari vaari,
Kyonki tu hai meri shaan ki sawari
- Meri pyari "scooter" :)

Realization...

2010-09-06T18:17:00.003+05:30

This post was written by me during one of the lectures, I didn't know what came over me when I wrote this thing, but later on I thought that I should post it over here.

The rays of the morning sun,
Make the darkness fade away.
Bringing light in life is the aim,
Did we all receive the light?
The rays were full of warmth and love,
The light was of care that we share.
Everyone wants all of these,
But do we deserve and receive them?
Everyone has closed their hearts,
The brain has become a machine.
Feeling have started to fade,
Has this happened to you?
All questions are answered by brain,
The heart bleeds without a beat.
Has the world done this to me or Was it me?
Did the realization came too late?

Those were the best days of my life...

2010-08-19T23:00:00.003+05:30

The face is a mirror of emotions,
Remembering the sweet days of commotion,
The life at school was hard to forget,
But college was loads of fun once can get.
The first day of college when I was a grown kid,
Ragging was the word I most dread,
The term seniors was no less of a torture in the first week,
Marks were left on cheek with slaps-streak.
Classes were a place to pull the leg of classmates,
Who cared that time what's our fate.
Workshop tasks were live stories,
Ragging batch mates were favorite movies.
Time went like a swift passenger before my eyes,
In second year we realized how fast it flies,
The feeling of being seniors was second to none,
I am the king - I am the only one.
Always thought that this would last long,
And thinking about this came third year along,
The feeling of enlightenment came in being,
A great vision by my soul was seen.
Suddenly the realty began to seep in,
The darkness of future began to creep in.
It was all about the ultimate aim in life to achieve,
The start was tough but I was not to leave.
The campus placements were a tense time for all,
Whether be it just an interview call.
Came the final year of soul searching,
The feeling of nostalgia was coming.
The tears were hard to stop from coming,
Amidst smiling face they were running.
The journey was about to take a sharp turn,
From a very beautiful path for which I would yearn.
The days were magic followed by diamond nights,
I would miss those group hugs and friendly fights.
Even today the heart yearns for those times,
Those were the best days of my life...

Zindagi ki raha...

2010-07-31T21:32:00.002+05:30

Zindagi ki hai yeh chaha,
Aasaan ho jaye har raha.
Kyon nahi samajh paati hai yeh zindagi,
Aasaan raha se nahi kisi ki bandagi.

Free Soul

2010-06-23T21:39:00.002+05:30

Few words that could make me heard,
A free spirit like a free bird.
Flowing with the wave of serene air,
A flowing soul in the world's fair.
Voices within make me add to the chaos,
With a calm face I give a sincere pose.
Veils of distrust keep me at a distance,
I want to free myself just once.
The cage of deception is holding me within,
Living life in a cage is a worse sin.
Soul of joy and peace are there to dance,
I will till eternity to get a single chance.
My heart is broken down in many a part,
Everyone has got a space but tearing it apart.
Something is there which I cannot comprehend,
My sins are grave and will take time to amend.
Till the time I can't be airborne like a bird in the sky,
I will bide for my time; then I will FLY...

Chhahat...

2010-03-22T21:42:00.002+05:30

Har lamhe mein tu hai,
Sanson mein hai tera he saath,
Har chhahat ki hai tu aarzoo,
Jeene ka tu hai ek raaz.
Zarre zarre mein hai teri chhahat,
Rangon mein hai basi teri rangat,
Deewange hai tujhse meri,
Zindagi kya zingadi agar tum na ho...

Zindagi ki daud...

2010-03-15T21:02:00.003+05:30

Chand Sawaalon mein kat gayi zindagi saari,
Numeron ki daud mein woh kyon hai haari.
Khel hai ye dimag ka, jo dil na samajh paaya,
Dil ke armaanon ko dil mein he kyon dafnaaya.
Pehli bar jab dekhi thi, duniya thi badi chulbuli,
Phir kitaabon ne kyon macha di hai dil mein khalbali.
Bachpan na jeeya, na jee paaya jawani,
Kahan kho gaye woh din, meri asli zindagani.
Sochta tha khel mein bahut naam paunga,
Papa ne kaha khel se kaise note kamaunga.
Addition, subtraction division sab ne bahut uljhaya,
Newton ke laws ne raat raat bhar jagaya.
Paise ki chahat ne poori zindagi mujhe daudaya,
Sochon toh kya main kabhi khud jee paya.
Hansi thi maangi, thodi khushi thi chahe,
Paise ki daud mujhe aaj kis mod pe le aayi.
Ab har sawaal ka ek he jawab sab mujhse lo,
Ek pal toh mujhe jeene do jeene do...

Khali ehsaas...

2010-03-06T00:42:00.003+05:30

Waqt nein zindagi ko kai hisson mein baant diya,
Apni khushi ko apne haathon se kaat diya.
Jiya toh main kya jiya khud se aisa karke pyar,
Sabko maine mana mohra, zindagi ka kiya vyapaar.

Happy Holi...

2010-02-28T10:47:00.002+05:30

Hi Everone...

Wishing you all a very Happy Holi...

May the colors color your life colorful,
Making it more sweet and beautiful,
Whats life if you cant experience the gift,
The colors are just wonderful,
If you understand what they tell you,
You have lived life to the full,
With the all the colors and thandai,
Holi aapki zindagi mein har khushi laaye
Happy Holi :)

Hai rangon ki bauchhar,
Pichkari ki fhuhar,
Geeton ki bahaar,
Thandai ka bukhar,
Aur sabke dilon mein pyar,
Yahi toh hai yaaron holi ka tyohar...

P.S. These were just written by me to post on Facebook.

Silence...

2010-01-23T00:22:00.003+05:30

Silence within me is waiting to subside,
Its calmness is taking me for a ride,
I want to cry, I want to hide,
I am alone with no one by my side.

Searching for the soul within me,
That too its doing for free,
I thought my life was complete from A to Z,
It made me realize my life's an autumn tree.

Though I hope a spring to arrive,
On this hope many autumns I do thrive,
And that's when silence within me imbibe,
My life's just a race to survive.

A ravishing thought just comes by,
Like dropping from the heavenly sky,
Silence is silent and just watches by,
What do I do - Shout or Cry?

Oh! the worlds looks so deprived,
Off all the happiness that never arrived,
All the show was contrived,
Where silence but none survived.

Thats the essence of life in all,
Being happy is never a distant call,
Truth is being true to yourself and all,
Happniess in your life would silence install...

Few lines from within...

2010-01-14T19:16:00.001+05:30

There were days when the life looked so bleak,
There were times when days looked so dull,
There were moments when I just lost it all,
There were beats that skipped their rhythm.
The times were neither good nor bad,
Looking behind in the mirrors of time,
I see a person just not himself anymore,
Fights within himself and outside raging red,
Wanting all that for himself that was never there.
The desire to be one and all made him none,
All the things had come and gone now,
He is still thinking was it right at that time,
Those fights were all his or never a part,
All apart they took from him was life.
This was a way that never was his,
He was lost, lost deep in a mirage,
Was his life a dream or apart in space,
Truth was it never occured in parts.
Life was a maze that was set as a task,
Few pieces joined few lying scattered,
Completing the task was the crux of life,
Living it worthwhile was the hint given at large.

Raaz...

2009-12-13T23:53:00.002+05:30

Har nazar mein tha ek raaz ghehra,
Mujhe har tarf nazar aaye bas tera he chehra.
Thi unn aankhon mein ek aisi kashish,
Jaisi na de sake koi charas na he hashish.
Uss raaz ki khatir meine bhuli di apni zindagi,
Har lamha apna, har apni khushi.
Jiya toh jiya bhi kya aisa jo ji he na paya,
Jaanunga woh raaz bann ke tera saya.
Teri har nazar mein ab bas jaunga,
Raaz jaane bina ab na reh paunga.
Har lamhe mein teri hogi aahat meri,
Ab na duur hai woh raaz waali aanken teri.
Bas ab aayega ye raaz unn aankon se bahar,

Tujhe na chahega phir koi na karega tujhse pyar.

Clouds...

2009-11-15T16:50:00.004+05:30

When I see the sky in the morning rains,
Its a shade of grey and a smearing paint,
Lots of shades are flowing around,
All of them are say blue, black and white sound.
Through the haziness of the clouds I do see,
The softly shining sun and its rays in the gray sea,
Rain drops like a showers of pointed arrows,
I love the rains or do I hate them still I dont know.
Making the grass green wherever it likes,
Uprooting the trees when its fury strikes,
The sky still remains the same palette of shades,
Beneath it lies the heart unknown in various states.
What is the aim is unknown to one and all,
Its all masked beneath the great facade of clouds,
Shades of varying degrees mask the sea of emotions,
All what I see is the dull and dusky coulds,
Is it the morning rains or the evening shroud...

Words in life...

2009-10-25T22:41:00.005+05:30

"Do the words flow as they intend to or do they flow as we intend them to?"

The flow of the words was unabated strong and wrong,
But to my cranky ears they were a sweet song.
I never realised the pain they had caused to one and all,
As my world like my heart was very small.

They flowed like the waters in a gushing stream,
Less was the compassion more was the scream.
They stung everyone straight in heart,
Tearing it to bits, tearing it into thousands of parts.

Making the life so sad to be lived as it was,
It was my words that were the cause.
Never did those stop as they should have been,
My eyes were wronged by a selfish screen.

All the while I was the only one,
At the end it was really me but having no one.
They took away all that I had with me called life,
They were less of butter more of knife.

Cutting away all the ties and bonds,
In my heart now lies a dried tear pond.
Words were all that I thought I had till that time,
At that point I realised they were not even mine.

They never beloned to me as they were free from ties,
They poured from my mouth in a bunch of lies.
Time said it was they who ruined me,
My heart saw the truth it was not them but only 'ME'.

My ego was the culprit for the downfall,
Words were only a medium in all.
All the saying goes unheeded in life till the end,
Things could be very bad, but still never too late to amend.

Did I say all that I had wanted to?
I don't know the answer, neither you.
Still a lot more remains in my heart till date,
Would pour out more on a later date...

Thami hui dastaan...

2009-09-04T23:29:00.002+05:30

Ruka hua tha ye nazaara,
Aaj anjaan ho gaya jahan saara,
Har lamhe ko jo jeena chaha tha,
Fhoot gaya jaise koi gubbara.
Aaj ander se hai dard aisa,
Koi samajh na paye waisa,
Jis zindagi ke liye ladi thi ladai,
Koi sacchai usse bacha na pai.
Har sach ko jaisa raunda hai yahan,
Jaane ab iss dharti ka hoga kya,
Ruk gayi hai zameen ye dekh,
Tham gaye hain kismat ke lekh,
Jal gaya hai zameer hamara,
Ruk gaya hai aaj har nazaara,
Shayad kabhi lage sabko koi pyara...

Words of Life...

2009-08-31T21:51:00.004+05:30

For some people writing is an art,

For me its my own part.

I don't know where to start,

I don't know how to start.

When I am happy or sad,

When life's good or bad.

I don't remember a thing,

Its just when the heart sings,

The words start to flow in unison,

I just combine them into one.

Life's story is more or less the same,

Its your friends but with a different name.

Just let life flow with time,

Be it a sad or a happy rhyme,

Life is yours and life is mine,

Live life all the time, everytime...

Just for you " FRIEND" ...

2009-08-27T16:55:00.004+05:30

There may be a lot of things unsaid,
A lot of things undone,
A lot of emotions unfelt,
A lot of life unlived.
Whether it was fate or time,
Whether your actions or mine.
It was a life that was lived together,
A life full of happy matter.
Still in my heart a part goes missing,
A part still yearning.
There it still harbors a pain,
All the time its just your name.
Life wouldn't ever be the same,
Life it was when you came.
Its the calmness that runs down deep,
During storm on whose shoulder's do I weep,
The emptiness would be with me till the end,
Life's meaningless without you my Friend.

Pain of success...

2009-05-02T23:45:00.002+05:30

The heart is shattered once again,
Inside me it brings a lot of pain.
Words are missing to express my feeling,
Under heavy pressure is my soul reeling.
Life again became a place devoid of heart,
It has cut my soul into many part,
Victories are to be celebrated in fashion,
For me am all alone on all occassions,
Don't know what to say or speak,
Through my eyes do dry tears leak.
Havnt got the courage to ask for more,
My lifes a bag full of pores.
Its a way that I do stand tall in the face of soul,
I am all alone, even though have reachd my goal.
Its a battle of emotions as you want a celebration,
But for everyone its just a common occasion.
The eyes strain for tears to flow,
But they refuse to come, however slow.
Its not as though am devoid of pain,
Its just like dancing in rain full of pain.
I am happy , I like to dance in rain,
Its my tears that flow, but am not in pain.
I am standing tall, standing proud,
I am as always alone in the crowd...

Life is not what it looks like...

2009-04-02T12:42:00.002+05:30

Sitting in the hot noon sun,
I was thinking about none,
Trying to gather pieces of time,
When life was like sweet lime,
A bit of sugary, a bit of salty,
But now its noe, its just faulty.
I scramble over the memories,
Of the numerous journeys,
Still there's a void within me,
I am empty to thee,
Running about in the life's walk,
I dont have anyone to talk,
Things may be sweet and beautiful,
But the tastes are bland and tearful,
Saying a lot is still not lot,
In the life's web I am caught,
Trying to break free from the prison,
I want to be like the rising sun,
I am searhing for the only one,
I am searching one from one...

Jeevan...

2009-02-10T21:56:00.003+05:30

Bas baitha hun likhne ke liye,
Har shad mein hai gahrayi,
Ek nazar daal ke dekho inme,
Milon faile hui hai tanhai.

Jeevan ke yeh reet hai aisi,
Samajh na paye sab koi,
Samajh samajh ke jo samjhe,
Hari ko samjhe wohi.

Jo hai likha woh nahin hun main,
Jo na likha wahi hai mera roop,
Likhne waale ko tum samjho,
Likhta hai jaise chanuon aur dhoop.

Tanhai hai tere saathi,
Na hai koi ab aur bhi tera,
Raat bhar kyon rota hai tu,
Shayad ek din hoga savera.

Kya maine socha tha,
Kya maine hai paya,
Yeh jeevan toh bas moh hai,
Aur har vastu hai maya.

Aaj soch raha hai har antarmann,
Kya hai mera satya,
Tanhai hai ab mera saaya,
Mrityu ko har jeev ne paya.

Har aane wala ek din toh jata hai,
Phir mera mann kyon ghabrata hai,
Aaj toh phir uday hua hai mera,

Abse har din hai naya savera.

Am I happy...

2009-01-10T21:38:00.002+05:30

Am I happy or its just a facade,
Am I sad or its just my heart.
Feelings abound still without sound,
Heart in pain but still game.
I fail to feel the feeling intended,
Feelings in heart have all ended.
In some scattered pieces is life mine,
Not like ambosia, but like brine.
Am I happy or just I try to be,
I don't know but I want to be 'Me',
Lost here lost there,
Am lost everywhere,
Happiness is what I am searching for,
Will try to find it for sure...

Life as soul...

2008-08-31T23:04:00.002+05:30

Searching for the soul,
I came across the world,
What was mine was never mine,
For what I fought never survived.
I am going into the dark realms of nature,
Being a person I never thougth would become,
The world seemed to be in a mess,
As was my life at the time.
I tried to run, but time was faster than me,
It was my folly to think I was the destiny,
The truth was bitterest to the last bite,
It was my soul that was mine, Not my life...

Life's a mystery...

2008-07-30T00:20:00.003+05:30

Quite a few times I would say,
" Life's a mystery"
I say I know the start,
But ending is always a mystery.
When I walk, am sure of my feet,
But the roads are always a mystery.
When I speak, I am sweet,
But the interpretation, is always a mystery.
All the while I am the lucky one,
But who is chosen is always a mystery.
For people the worlds' a beauiful place,
But for me its always a mystery,
I say and do, what I think,
But how I think is always a mystery,
My life is mine all the time,
But after me, my "Life's a mystery",
I may recede into history,
But always my "Life will remain a mystery"

Question...

2008-05-27T22:33:00.003+05:30

Why is life only about wants?
Why are eyes only for light?
Why I end just on I and Me?
Why do I lie, even in front of thee?

So many questions, still very few answers,
Whenever I sit to think, they give me shivers,
Are they running from me,
Or is it me, who's running from them.
Always am looking for the one answer,
Who am I? Do I live forever???

Lost in the crowd...

2008-04-15T22:13:00.003+05:30

When I look around,
There are lots of sound.
When inside I peek,
Whom do I seek.

All the rights and all the wrongs,
From the sad to sweet songs.
All the way life's a mystery,
One day I will become history.

I may be standing big and tall,
Yet in reality I am very small.
I may be sporting a happy face,
Inside its lined with sadness lace.

With the trace of glint in the eyes,
I stand tall telling lies.
A single tear when runs on the cheek,
I sound timid, lost and meek.

All the while I pose a strong exterior,
When I am crumbling in the interior.
I am well supported all the time,
I look for those who are mine.

I have loads of people around me,
Still I am alone without thee.
Don't know when the loneliness will end,
I have lots of actions to amend.

All said but little done,
I am not there, am no one.
All the while I am the person,
All the time I am none.

Lost within me, lost from outside,
Oh! lord please help me,
I am lost, I am lost,
I am lost inside as well as in crowd...

Silence thats silent...

2008-02-09T01:36:00.000+05:30

Is the silence within,
Or is it outside,
Lots of voices around,
But still its very quiet.
A war thats tearing me apart,
Of it Am I a part or not.
As with the nature do I blend,
Or its just the silence that says.
Lots of words spoken,
Least understood in nature,
War is within me or nature,
Or its just the silence.
Am I afraid of myself?
Even though I dont know myself,
So, whats making it worse to live,
My own self or the silence.
I fail to understand the implicit,
Yet silence cannot make it loud,
Its in the nature of nature,
Do I change for worse or better.
The silence is hard to answer,
Answers that are well spoken of,
But answers that cannot be answered.
Its the silence that wants the answer,
Its the silence thats the answer.
I dont know who Am I?
Its the silence within me that speaks,
Such is the meaning of silence,
It makes me speak its tounge,
The language of silence.
I speak, speak my heart out,
Its only the silence that I say,
Rest is understood by you...

Confused...

2008-01-31T23:41:00.000+05:30

Bahut kuch ho gaya hai,
bahut kuch hone ko hai,
jaane kya kho gaya hai,
jaane kya khone ko hai.

Life has got nothing special in tow,
Its going on in a silent row.
Am trying to shore it up,
Dont know where Am gonna land.

Difference...

2007-12-29T07:30:00.000+05:30

The blue sky says it loud,

With it I wanna shout.

The morning rays so calm,

Just like mamma palm.

Life is like a dream,

Like some topping cream.

So much, yet so less,

As always its hard to guess,

The purity of heart melts into soul,

Happiness around is my goal.

I may be small,

I may not be tall.

But I can make a difference to all,

With love in my heart thats pure,

I can and will make a difference for sure.

Writing...

2007-11-15T19:33:00.000+05:30

They say writing is a beautiful art,
When written with feelings in heart,
A sweetness in the words is sought,
In the web of feelings its caught.
I write just to relax my mind,
And to help me n myself unwind,
My words though not make much sense,
Its a way to cross the internal fence.
All the written is the thought of the moment,
Sometimes later do we lament.
But I feel happy and light,
When I take a pen, and just write,
A smile thats crossing my face now,
Makes everyone wonder How???

Armaan...

2007-10-01T00:04:00.000+05:30

Aaj hain bahut armaan iss dil mein,
Jaane kis kis ko pura karun,
Khashmakash mein he baitha tha aise,
Sochta hun baatein kaise kaise.
Kuch na aaya samajh mein,
kaise karun , kya karun,
Bas tha ek he khayal ab to,
Inn armaanon ko pura karon.
Bahut samay sochne mein gavaya,
Par kuch na samajh mein aaya.
Ab jab aaya hai ek khayal aisa,
Maine paya aarmanon ko bhula jaisa,
Woh armaan he ab na rahe,
Jinke baare mein maine itna socha,
Aaj dekha to bas paya,
Woh nahi tha kabhi bhi sach,
Sab tha dhoka he dhoka....

Friends Forever...

2007-08-08T11:44:00.000+05:30

Through the unspoken we traverse,
Walking through the sands of time,
Thinking bout our past and future,
Together in our present times.

Brought together by the unseen,
Held together by the unknown,
Our bond just grew stronger,
Which is felt not shown.

Life may lead us to many paths,
Some common, some apart.
What matters is in our heart,
We just stay the same, never apart.

All things may come and go,
What we want we may never know,
Roles change all the while,
Still I like you and your smile.

Years would pass like grains of sand,
Through which we all live by.
Am still yearning to hold your hand,
While watching the morning sky.

Time will makes us meet again,
Though our looks will change,
But within heart we remain the same,
The same ol' stupid "Friends Forever"

Superhit life...

2007-07-24T15:23:00.001+05:30

I flow with the tide of time,

Never knowing the broken line,

A heart so full of joy and laughter,

Everyday is life's new chapter,

I write as I want to write,

Everything's beautiful within my sight.

Love is what is within my soul,

The world looks lovely as a whole,

As like time, I flow with it,

People say my life's Superhit...

Sapling...

2007-07-12T16:25:00.000+05:30

I start my life as seed,
So innocent & unruffled,
Sprouting into a new world,
So unknown & full of trouble,
That’s my thought as a sapling,
Whose trunk is soft & leaves shining,
Taking in wisdom from air,
And knowledge from beneath,
I start weaving my way,
Through the cluttered world,
As I keep rising in the glory of sun,
The young plant of me,
Looks to proceed to bend before the tree,
He thinks himself as master of all,
Waiting for his great fall,
Oh the proud & tall me,
Falls on the feet of almighty thee,
The wisdom within becomes wise,
And the starts to attain new heights,
The pinching glow becomes my glory.

Barish mein bheeg jaun...

2007-07-03T14:48:00.000+05:30

Barish ki boondon mein aaj phir jhoom jaun,

Sunhare paloon mein youn kho jaun,

Jhoom jhoom ke aaj aise naachun,

Masti bhare mann se malhar gaun,

Aisa hai manzar aaj is sawan ka,

Sab bhulkar main boondoin mein bheega,

Barkha ki hai aisi mast ghata,

Aaj uske aanchal mein main lauta,

Woh sawan tha mere bachpan ka,

Aaj hai ek sapna mere mann ka,

Khushi bhare mann ki hai ye aarzoo,

Phir se jee le un palun ko tu,

Bheega hai aaj aise mera tann,

Jaga di hai mann mein nayi umang,

Ho raha hai aisa boondon ka nasha,

Aane laga phir se jeene ka mazaa,

Aise naachun jaise vann mein more,

Har pal ko jee bhar ke jiyun chinta chhor,

Phir se bheegun iss saawan mein,

Phir se kho jaun unn boondon mein,

Phir se jiyun unn yadoon ko,

Phir se paun unn hasin palun ko,

Nacchun, gaun masti mein kho jaun,

Khusi ke inn hasin palon ko mein kabhi na bhul paun,

Bas khushi se jeeta jaun,

Aaj iss saawan mein phir jhoom jaun,

Yadon, palon sab ko sanjoon ke laun,

Barish ki boondon mein aaj phir se bheej jaun...

Aaj phir se bheeg jaun.....

Phir se bheeg jaun.....

Melody of Rains...

2007-06-19T12:34:00.000+05:30

The rain drops were loud yet silent,

Pouring like the musical waves,

Stirring up the melodies within the silence,

Something enigmatic is being played,

Something thats esoteric to me,

Still the sweet melody plays on,

Even when the rains are gone.

I still hear the sounds, sounds of drops,

I lay still, so still as to capture it.

A burning desire within me to feel,

Feel the music within and out,

Voidness all around overflowin with the sound,

I smile and laugh, peels of laughter,

In sync with the music around,

Turn into tears from eyes outbound.

Just like the raindrop, tears play a melody,

Just so obvious yet goes into oblivion.

The music is still there but now more subdued,

Tryin to make out its meaning and truth.

Its pouring outside and within now,

Don't know whom to control and how.

Its such an irony of life,

You have both the feelings together,

Melody and meloncholy at the same time,

Heart's overflowing with the sound,

Oh! listen. Oh! Listen, Listen to the sound...

Melodies by rains and tears abound,

Yet so silent and yet so profound.......

Friends Forever...

2007-06-12T14:51:00.000+05:30

One fine day, I sat thinking bout my old days,
The time when I was a stranger in the crowd..
The time I was a lonely face around...
When I was ushered into this mean world...
All I found was a flurry of unknown faces around,
Each one so distinct, yet so alike,
They all looked different from outside,
But beneath the skin it was the same thing,
A feeling shared by all of them,
Of the unknown, in the unknown world...
And in the midst of that, a bond was formed,
A bond thats so mild yet so strong,
The feeling brought them all together,
With the passing of time the bond grew stronger,
It was like a family in all measures,
Where everyone was different yet together...
And when the time came to leave for destination,
No one understood the unsaid relation,
But tears welded the bond to be more stronger,
The strangers have become now my part,
They all are with me in my heart,
With an unsaid resolution we all did part,
Though apart, we live in each others heart,
And wont forget these beautiful days ever....
We all will remain FRIENDS FOREVER.......

Time...

2007-06-05T14:23:00.000+05:30

Its true that time flies,

But more than truth is that people change.

Time may be the best healer,

Also its the best eraser,

With memory it also erases poeple from your mind,

For a person time does not change him,

Its the time that has changed.

But in reality he's too busy to notice,

that its othe other way round.

With passing time we grow and change,

We forget but not usually forgive.

We remain in present but live in past,

We look the same but heart has changed.

True that time flies,

But I have changed more than time,

People come and go and so do you.

While I lament on time for things,

Its I "myself" who has to learn things,

Change is the only thing constant in nature,

And even though I change with time,

The change should always be for better,

I may grow with time,

But I shouldnt forget my friends of life,

Even though they are out of my sight,

I would never want them to be out of my mind.

True that time flies,

But I will change taking all my people along...

Khamoshi...

2007-05-29T15:46:00.000+05:30

Jaanta nahi main kya hai ye,
Kya hai aisi baat,
Kahane ko hai bahut kuch,
Par zabaan pe aati nahi koi baat.
Kuch aisa ghira hoon apni ladai mein,
Bhul gaya hoon duniya ko.
Aaj hoon khush to main,
Par nahi baant pa raha hoon usiko,
Shayad yahi hai zindagi,
Koi nahi samjha kya hai ye zindagi...

Lost in the Crowd....

2007-05-08T14:38:00.000+05:30

Walking amidst the crowd,

I fathom whether lost or found.

Through the raging men,

to the shrill sounds.

No one knows my heart and its sound.

The stormy feelings,

to the cloudy eyes.

In the standing raings,

I hide my tears.

Keep allaying fears,

in the crowd's jeers.

Crowd comes and goes on,

But the feeling holds on....

Lost in the crowd...

Am "I" or the "CROWD"

Beauty...

2007-04-25T14:52:00.000+05:30

Through the dark woods I traverse,
Not knowing the destination.
From the streaks of lights that I see,
I create a path by imagination.
From the rustling of leaves,
To the song of the flowing waters,
This is a new world altogether.
The colors so vibrant, yet so mild,
Spread all around in the wild.
Beauty is not a virtue exposed outside,
Its the inner self which makes things beautiful.
What lies within you, is seen by you,
Thanking god for what he made me,
Beauty is what to me, is to thee...

© Manish

I and Me...

2007-04-17T11:09:00.000+05:30

I stand there thinking of what to do,

Not a single direction which i didnt look into,

Lots of things are going around me,

Still am lost into mind tree.

Am waiting for thee to come,

But thou shalt not come this far,

Or is this the other way round,

Am rooted to the spot by my "I",

Its not He, whos not will to come,

Its my "me" thats not making me move.

Thou has his heart open for me,

Its my "I", thats unable to enter thy thee.

Lifting the shakles of my "ME",

I raise myself into the hands of thee,

For all that I was thinking I am,

It was just a myth and false calm.

Now am free, free to live my life,

Free from "Me" and free from "I",

Only peace is left now....

Inside and out...........

Tears' fears...

2007-04-10T09:49:00.000+05:30

A silent tear sits at the corner of my eye,
Its path is unceratin to thy.
Thinking about going down or vanishing there,
Its hard to decide, If down someone would care.
Uncertainity looms over it large.
Making it finally vanish into thin air.
Atleast it wont be there again in name.
If down there noone asks why it came...

Who am I?

2007-03-19T01:00:00.000+05:30

I looked back on myself,

What did I see??

Patches of varying shades,

That I could never match with me.

Brightness and darkness are all there,

But the real treasure was nowhere.

I stood motionless waiting for some miracle,

Like told about it by an Oracle.

I knew heart in heart,

There was nothing apart.

I was all there in someway,

Or in some part,

A little here and a little there,

The feeling of oneness was never there,

And moments that no one did care.

All I learnt is that "I" does not matter,

When the reality hits hard,

All the dreams do scatter.

You are a non-entity in the world,

Till the time you are in sight,

You can get some light.

The day you go out of sight,

You are erased same time from mind.

This is life, you are there so there,

Else you are none and nowhere,

And then your "I" does not matter,

You are no one for that matter...

Smile :)

2007-03-15T21:35:00.000+05:30

These few lines were jotted down by me on my cell....... was not able to put up something good..... so thought that I put down some fo my random or situational thoughts... bcoz i dont knw wht these are :)

Somethings are good,
Somethings are wonderful,
Somethings make you happy,
Somethings make you smile.
All these things last for a while,
One thing that makes me smile all while,
Is you, our friendship and your Smile :)

A smile so enigmatic,
A voice so sweet,
A heart so beautiful,
A world so neat.
The smiles are flowing,
Happiness abound,
The world so lively,
God shower your blessings,
On everyone all around :)

Hmmmm....

2007-02-18T23:04:00.000+05:30

Kya soch ke kuch likh raha hun,
kuch hai he nahin ab yahan,
soch ke kya aaya tha main,
aur kya ho gaya hai.
Havaa ne cheri hai aisi dhun,
dil jisme ho gaya hai gom,
dil ke taaron ne aisa swar uthaya,
zehen main aaya, kisko khoya kisko paya.
Jeene ka ab aur koi naya bahana nahin aaya,
Jisko dekho wahi mujhe bhul paya,
Kisi ki soch ka tha ye kasoor,
Ya main hun he aisi cheez huzoor.
Soch ke aaya to tha ki kahunga dil ki baat,
Par shabdon ne nikali ek nayi baraat.
Kahin ek tha anjaana sa shor,
Is jeewan ki nahi hai kahin bhor.
Kya main hun itna gaun,
Kya mera jeewan hai itna maun,
Jo jeena tha mujhe usse na jee paa raha hun,
Aaj main apne aur apne saaye ko bhula raha hun....
Bhula raha hunn.....

A lone voice...

2007-01-14T14:20:00.000+05:30

Its been sometime since I have last visited this place.... actually I was not able to access net and when I had access to net I was not in the right frame of mind to jot down something.....
Anyways, no probs am here again... and am still thinkin what to write and what not to write.... lets see what crops up here....

A small voice inside me wants to speak,
But there's a lack of opening,
It wants to scream,
But all the things are closed.
Its closed to the world,
Its closed to itself,
It just cries in vain,
Bearing itself all the pain.
Sometimes it wants to share,
But theres no one to care,
All the timings are wrong,
Its just sits alone and quiet.
The silent sobs of it,
Of the heart wrenching screams,
All go unheard in the busy world,
Everyone wants time but has none.
It still sits in solitude,
Does not know the thing,
If its by Choice or Compulsion,
The voice stings deep within.
The worldy ways are unheard,
It just cries into the earth,
It knows its destiny is to be alone,
The lone and lonely voice,
The lone and lonely voice cries and dies.

Am in Pune...

2006-11-02T20:24:00.000+05:30

Well am in pune and sittin in a net cafe... samajh nahin aa raha hai kya likhon aur kya nahin... to bas yahi hai jo likh raha hoon.....

Somethings new, somethings are old,

Am not near my home made of gold,

Trying to get the taste of new things'

Lookin to acclimatise to the surroundings,

Few and far between I see the things,

And in my heart a sad bell rings,

Trying to figure out the sound of the bell,

And the homemade dishes I do smell,

Just then the dream is lost and broken,

My tear are inside hidden,

What am sayin and what i wanted to say,

All that come to my lips is Nay,

Am tryin to console myself sayin am Happy,

But now nothings here neither home nor my Lappy ;)

chalo then aal of you ppl
Take care
and Miss me
Hope to c a all soon
Bbye

Manish

Teardrop...

2006-10-15T21:35:00.000+05:30

A lone tear trickled down my face,
Unknown to it, what's its fate,
Only a few knew why it was there,
Few knew its genesis n its birth,
The heart was bleeding n so did the soul,
The world was lost n the home,
Treasure of lifetime was plundered,
Relatioships broken n heart scattered,
Left was now a loner n a loser,
One who couldn't take care of his treasure,
Giving birth to that lone drop called Tear,
And same for me, like it I don't know,
Just left to live life, on the fate,
Like the lone tear, trickling down my face.

Silence within me...

2006-10-11T00:29:00.000+05:30

Silent thoughts in my mind,Rumbling around the place,
I search for peace in them,Alas! I am completely lost.
The silence over a period,Starts to pinch me hard,
Is the silence in truth?
Or a general placid facade.
Like a calm sea waiting for me,To allay my fears,
When I step in the clear waters,There lies a storm hidden.
I am all caught up,Don't know where to go,
Its just the feeling I share,Searching for someone,
Whom I don't even know.
The silence now becomes,A lifetime companion.
But still I fail to gather,Its subtle meaning.
I let my mind run through wild,To explore new horizons,
To the setting sun behind,And in the end all I find,
I am lost within my mind.The labours are in vain,
Oh! help me. Help me please.
I am in great pain.
Let me understand what you mean,I tell silence at last.
All I get is an enigmatic smile,A smile that gave me the food,
The food, which my mind craved.It just said don't be afraid,
I am just what you are?
I am the one, the soul,the beauty, the ultimate goal,
I am all and All is me.
I keep all things,Deep inside me.
You are my part,And I am yours,
So just accept me,And you'll discover peace.
A thing that you want to get,A thing to fulfil your needs,
I am the Silence,I am the Peace.
I am what you desire.So why do you run thee.
Embrace me oh! human,Discover my capablities,
I'll make you at ease,To you I'll bring,
The much needed peace,
I am the silence,
I am the peace.

Something to tell ya...

2006-10-01T18:34:00.000+05:30

Hey fellas.... got to tell ya something.. from now on this blog of mine will be for poems while I have another one in which I will b posting my general write-ups, so plz bookmark this new link also http://orderinrandomnez.blogspot.com/ .Am sorry for all the inconvenience caused to you ppl, but am sure that you will bear with me. Rest am again back to my normal antics ;)
Well have a great time all of you.

Tc
GBU all
Manish

"Life's too short to be sad, so why not be happy"

Safar-e-zindagi...

2006-09-25T23:21:00.000+05:30

Ek aap jaise kuch kadradanon ki wajah se he to hum hai...
warna apni hasti bhi mitti mein gum hai....
jahan se aaye the, wahin to ek din jaana hai.....
phir is sach se kyon sharmana hai..
na hasti rahegi ek din na naam...
bas kuch nagme, aur thodi jaam...
koi nahin jaanta apna anjaam....
arey ye dunya karti hai har ek ko badnam....
main to yaha ka musafir hoon....
nahin mera koi thikana hai....
aaj ko jeta hoon,kal kisne jana hai...
jo aaya tha usko to ek din usi mitti mein mil jana hai...
kuch meri chahat hai,aur baaki beimaan zamana hai
bas is hasti ko jab tak bachana hai....
jab tak khak se nahin hua dostana hai....
uske baad to wahi mera ghar hai,wahi gharana hai....
mitti se aaya tha... mitti mein he mil jana hai....
mitti mein mil jana hai, mitti mein mil jana hai....

Am back...

2006-09-23T18:43:00.000+05:30

Hi to all,
I am back and will once again be actively posting write-ups on this blog... sorry for the inconvenience caused to you all... hope that all are fine...
Take Care
N thnx for Missin me ;)
Besties to all
God bless you all
Manish

Random Thoughts...

2006-08-24T19:30:00.000+05:30

"Wanting to write something,which is hidden,
I write that something, not meant to be written."

Well, for a past few days, I am feeling restless.Nothing to do, nowhere to go and thoroughly confused about what to do.So that is a brief overview of my mind's state.Last few days have really been a hard time for me. Its that time when you know that you have to do many things but still you are doing nothing, because you don't feel like doing anything and why you feel like not doing anything is still a mystery. You then think its better to let the things as they are and not to worry about them. But the more you try to avoid these things the more you are into it. You don't want to unfurl that mystery but still you are curious, thats human nature. Your mind is always in a conflict and running through contradictions, well thats my mind am talking about. I have lots to think about and lots to do. But I am taking this time as to relax and more than relaxing, I am getting impatient. I know that I have to prepare for my job, to do some work entrusted upon me by my parents ( well I had voluntarily asked them, that I would do that work ), to clean my room ( hahaha... I usually do that when I have got no place to sit ;) ) and the most important of all study for CAT. But as the gods are in my favour, I have become lazy to that extent that now even eating food has become a trying job for me. God knows what I am trying to do and where am I trying to lead myself and my life. Today the things were so unbearable for me that I just wanted to went out my anger or frustrations as many would say somewhere so I thought that this would be the place.
People usually change from good to better but yours truly is changing from bad to worse. Its that state of life that I detest the most. Why?? Because here I am having no pressure to do anything. My parents are satisfied about their ward, my friends are not in the town ( only a few are, but they are also busy ), my company is not calling me before Oct and whenever I sit for studtying I feel hungry or have a headache ;) . I am not enjoying the things that I used to enjoy , that is reading and music. Am fed up with computers and net. And above all, when I tell people what my life is going through, I am advised very sincerely that I should take a break and go for a holiday. So, now am totally confused what to do and what not to do. Therefore, I decided today that I would pour out my mind in this space. And frankly, speaking am feeling a lillte better, who knows by tomorrow I would be alright or might go more deep into the misery. Still, I hope for the best and am planning to do some better things now. And try to reorganise my life.
So, I just say God Bless Me :D and also God Bless you All ( as I know you all would be thinking I have gone mad and by making you all read these thoughts making you mad )
hahaahaha....

Have a great time fellas,
C ya soon,

Manish :)

Jeewan aur Main...

2006-08-23T15:08:00.000+05:30

Sukon na dil ko mila, na mann to chain aaya,
Aaj jab akele baith kar socha, ki jeewan mein kya paaya,
Kya is anndhi duniya ne,nacheez ko anndha banaya,
Ya is manzar ke nashe mein, khud ko he luta aaya,
Teemir ke samrajya mein, zameer bech khaaya,
Aaj ji kar bhi zinda nahin hoon, kyon aisa samaa hai,
Jeewan ke is soone safar mein, zindagi ko na gaale lagaya,
Maya ke bhanwar mein, apna vivek gavaya,
Aaj jeewan ki antim shaam mein,saath nahin hai apna saaya,
Woh bhi prakash ka saathi hai, aandhkar usse na bhaaya,
Kuch sochta hoon main, kuch jaannana hai mujhko,
Main kaun hoon? Main kahan se aaya?
Sirf khoya he to hai maine, kabhi na kuch paaya,
Aaj jab aanth aaya, to jeewan ka saar samajh paaya,
Yahan kaun hai apna. Yahan kaun hai apna...
Yahan har koi hai paraaya......

Rains.. Rains.. and More Rains.....

2006-08-18T17:48:00.000+05:30

"Rain, rain, go away
Come again some other day
We want to go outside and play
Come again some other day"

These lines are from the nursery rhyme that we all used to sing when we were kids. At that age rains used to fascinate us.It was an enchantress that used to keep us kids spellbounded.The fun and the frolic, the singing and dancing all was just great at times but over the years of growing up the spell seems to be falling apart.The childhood memories were of greenry and happiness aal around, we never knew that rains could be that devastating or leave apart rains our so pure heart could never take anything to be devastating and bad. The years since have passed by and over these years we have encountered a variety of seasons, but if you look in fact its the rainy season that always capture the imagination of the mortals.Its the rains that make the poet write, it forms a perfect backdrop for lovers, a mood setter for singers and composers, an exciting match for players and what not. It has all the things that are need to capture ones imagination and it does that with ease.

The romance with rain drops is impossible to be described in words its just eternal. But the romance seems to be passing over these recent years. With the changing weather cycle, due to various reasons, the rain god has started playing havoc.With the parts of counrty receiving unprecedented rainfall, people have started fearing rains.The desert has been flooded with water.The plains inundated, while the rainshadow areas submerged.And add to the woes of people, this havoc is not stopping.

All this has struck to me due to the fact that, that my own city has witnessed such fury of the rain god.Infact all it happened was just a short spell and a heavy downpour, taking with all the things and the belongings of the people, while they watched helplessly. It was a sad scene, when we watch our creations ( I say our creations as it was the result of our efforts) washing away, the memories of our past being gobbled by the flowing waters, who have got no sense of direction or path, it just knows how to flow and that too with fury. The elixir has turned into poison.

I just say, Oh! lord. Show us mercy.

P.s. I just wished that something could be done about this. We all should try to find some solution to avoid these flood. And all the departed souls R.I.P.

Happy Independence Day!!!

2006-08-14T22:23:00.000+05:30

Wishing All Indians Happy Independence Day!!!

Lets pledge and keep our tricolour flying proud and high.

Here I bring you some of our tricolour's shades I liked...

Happy Friendship Day!!!

2006-08-05T22:08:00.000+05:30

The fresh air was caressing my face,
Making my heart beat at a faster pace,
It marked a beginning of a new phase,
Where we all run the life's race.

As I put my feet on the ground,
The world started spinning around,
I felt it all shaky beneath,
And I stood there holding my breath.

The first step into the room,
Flooded with faces of new bloom,
I realised I was one of them,
Searching for a helping hand.

I spotted u sitting quitely,
Looking towards me intently,
The eyes which said it all,
Though they were round and small.

I took my place right beside you,
You made me feel secure and true,
That marked the beginning of a journey,
Called as friendship by many.

We sat through thick n thin,
Sometimes crying, sometimes grinnin,
The jokes and fights apart,
We always rode in the friendship's cart.

Whenever my life opened a new chapter,
where the things and the surroundings alter,
And a feeling of being lost came in,
I saw u towards me looking.

Smile on your face was like an angel,
Friend you are a gift so beautiful,
Few are gifted to have a true friend,
I will retain this relationship till the end.

Even when my life takes me far,
Between us there would be no bar,
And I know even then, when I need you,
I'll find you helping me thru.

I take this day to say just a thing,
Our friendship is unending,
Even if we are far apart,
We know, we live in each others Heart.

Dear friend I always pray for you,
You achieve what you want to,
And as I wish you, I say,
Happy Friendships Day!!!

PS. This lil' poem is dedicated to all my friends near or far.... Thanx for being my friend... :)

Blocking of Blogger domains...

2006-07-18T22:31:00.000+05:30

Its really disheartning to see that the Indian Govt has brought down its axe on the blogs. Just bcoz few of those were not giving out the correct content or the content which the government thought was not in the interest of the country. The govt. may b right about the content but does it mean curbing the right to speech of a commoner. Its basically autocratic means of functioning, where the ruler decides whats right n whats wrong and in this way, the system functions.
For the govt. the list they gave to the ISPs it could have been more specific but no, without any reason, the whole domains were blocked. This basicaly means that somewhere deep down there is a serious fault in the functioning of the system. For a selected few the whole lot is being punished, thats unfair.Basically after the Mumbai serial blasts the govt. has got into action but the way the things are going on its sad. For some reason they are curbing the freedom to speech and dont knw what they hold for us in the future. But the basic fact remains that the intelligence has failed and now no use crying over spilt milk, try to address the basic cause of the problem, the leaks and not the commoner.
I think that the govt. will realize that, by curbing the freedom of speech they are doing nothing much but only hurting the sentiments of ppl more n more. Lets hope for a better tomorrow.God bless all the souls.

No title for this one.... Readers' are welcome to suggest one :)

2006-07-05T22:05:00.000+05:30

Counting the seconds I was there,
Making it into hours of time,
Stretching those into days,
Finally ending into decades.
Life was stretching into years,
but I was still rooted to a place,
Things were moving n gaining,
But I was still searching for a name.
Somethings made sense during the trip,
While I was tripping over the rest,
Mutable thoughts never ending,
WOrries n troubles round the clock.
Mooching in the feelings forest,
Wanting to know the real thing,
Nearer as I came to it,
Farther it wades into space.
Seeing things come n go,
I age through the process,
Wisdom is hard to attract,
Failing in which I cannot.
Greying the body is there,
But the grey matter is not grey,
I realise viewing in different light,
Hard questions' answers I find.

Happiness...

2006-07-03T23:52:00.000+05:30

I took the pen to scribble,
The few memories I had,
Little of them here,
And little of them there.

Beautiful in a way I say,
The time spent with my friends,
Feelin of those days,
I just lay happy awake.

Sweet things were they,
Heavenly in their own way,
Oh.. oh.. what a life it is,
Few things here and a few there.

I write here abound,
Feelings flowin profound,
singing in its own way,
My hearts merry and gay.

I lie with open eyes,
Flowing in the memories clouds,
A lil' dark and a lil' light,
Oh my what a beautiful sight.

Happiness is there to stay,
Beautiful and merrier than ever,
THe way things come and go,
My days are more livelier...

Am happy am happy am happy
more than i cud say....
making more of the time I have
and more of my earths stay....
am happy am happy am happy....
what a day i say......
am happy am happy am happy....

I want to write...

2006-06-13T23:33:00.003+05:30

I want to write,
but am not able to do so.
To share my thoughts,
But there are none.
A good one was coming,
but has lost its way.
I still fail to say,
what I wanted to say.
A ripple is caused,
I search for the cause,
And in doing so,
I failed to notice the effect.
Everytime is life the stage,
or its the character.
I fail to understand,
part and plays of life.
So how can something,
do I write.
Again I hold the blank page,
With just ink drops.
As I cant write,
I can't write, write a word.

Walking...

2006-06-04T00:50:00.000+05:30

Walking towards the horizon,
i see the rising sun,
the line seems to move farther,
or was it never nearer.

I always want the possible,
Or is that thing always false,
towards the impossible i walk,
and shatter my woven thoughts.

Some say i think a lot,
for other I am a brat,
I myself think that,
I want what i have lost.

Never in the past u can go,
Nor the future comes true,
I wade thru the present,
Which i think was never meant to.

The sun is coming nearer,
I am happy for a while,
It all seems so real,
Or is this superficial.

Shadows grow n shrink,
I come to life's brink,
Feelings come n go within,
But am entity with no mind.

They why, why theres a burnin,
Burnin deep inside this entity,
One who just listens to world,
But knws its better not to react much.

The horizon again seems far,
Sun is setting on horizon,
Was it all mirage to me,
I was never nearer to it.

Somethings missing somewhere,
Tears are not coming,
But somewhere they are abound,
Again I say to myself no probs.

Its all bout what I think,
What am I doing,
But deep within I knw,
Its the real happiness that matters.

I stop running after the mirage,
Gave my life a pause,
Asked the all powerful for direction,
And Then I found My WAY!!!

Time goes on...

2006-05-28T00:09:00.000+05:30

I looked back on time, when thy said it was mine.
I took all the sacks, so that into them " time" I could pack.
I tried n tried, but all in vain. The end result was still the same.
I just let more of it slip away then the amount I could catch.
And then it dawned upon me, I was catching that could not be caught.
The time bygone was never mine, the time to come is not mine,
its the present time that is mine and am wasting it all the time.
I again looked back and the time was smiling and then I realized,
it was something that I could never catch but yes I can live upto full,
the time I have with me, the time I can live within.

I came to write something today and thought writin bout the current affairs, but the above lines flowed even before on the screen I did stare. This was something totally unexpected as nothing was in my concious mind but yup, nobody can vouch for the subconcious.
Today, I had my 3rd paper and now only one is left. Yesterday night, when I laid on my bed and was letting my thoughts flow. I suddenly realised that I was thinking about my past few years : how they had been? how I had fared all these years and all. It was nothing specific to start with but later on something stirred my mind. Past few months for me had both happy and sad memories. But I chose to remember the happy ones :) . I made a lot of friends and god was really gracious to have bestowed to me some very good friends. My time spent with them though was small but it was really of high quality. All these things made me happy.
But now as I sat writing, somethings pinching me. Its all about to change, the times, the surroundings and all. As they say " Nothing is permanent except change" , I was just thinking is it necessary for everything, yes, everything to change. Then, it suddenly dawned upon me : Was I holding things too tight? Was I trying to hold time in my hand? Was I just like any other person, not wanting to accept the truth? Or am I sensitive or insensitive?
Don't know what to say, but this question of being sensitive and insensitive really bugged me. It really one important question to which's answer am desperately trying to find out. Does being practical means you are insensitive ? Or I may put it in a some better words - Does taking the reality into your stride means you are insensitive or you dont care for people? Am really at loss for this thing. I know that now the time is not far when I will have to forgo my home, when I will be joining my job. And when I would leave this city, I would also leave many things behind. But, it does not mean that I will leave my old relations behind. They were there,they are there, they will be there and will remain for eons. But, for some its an end to relations and all. You could not have each and everything you want, for gaining something, somethings have to be forgone. So, its upto you what do you want and what choice you make and then you continue on that path.
Its again the same old story with me, trying to tell something else and something other has come out. But, then this topic was also looming in mind mind for sometime back, so it came out here. Its a few days left for me to leave this place and start afresh, but then I want to live my life in present and while trying to do so, I don't try to hurt anyone, but still if I have done that in the process am sorry for it.
So, there goes my thoughts.... and lets see when something new crops up here.... till then...
bbye
take care

Yours
Manish

Exams are on...

2006-05-16T20:18:00.000+05:30

It has been quite a few days that I have not visited this place... was sort of busy... ( well had to say that... ). Anyways, my exams are going on so was gettin lil time for bloggin. Actually, was not in the mood to write something new... but now its ok. Today, had my first paper and now its 3 more to go... then comes the part everybody is waiting for or not rather... the day when the exams are over and its party time and then the parting time....
Well well, let those things remain the way they are. Today was my first paper for final semester and now at the moment very happy. Well its like 1 down and 3 more to go at todays date. Chalo yaar no more of this crappy stuff of me 'n' my studies... there are much better things in life to think n write about ;) .
Life is full of different colors... its upto us what color we want to see. Its like whenever there is light we have a dark shadow... but that shadow has also got some qualities, its upto u what u see the darkness or the teachin that... when in the light of glory everybody is with you.... but in the darness of oblivion you are all alone... so try to find real gems... n dont b too busy collecting stones when you realise suddenly that you have lost a diamond. A true friend is worth a million dollors so dont lose that friend.
I dont knw what am i scribbling at this moment but still I had let it remain there. I dont knw how everyone faces life.. as to every other person his life is at the worst period while all the persons by his side are enjoying their life to max. Its not like that, each and everyone of us has got our own special problems but the tough ones dont always blame the circumstances and cry over the problem, they work on the problem ... solve it and come out victorious of the situation. Some say that its easy to preach but hard to follow... but sometimes the preachings come from our own experiences.... neways too much of this stuff..... now am goin to stop....
If u ppl out there think this whole post is absurd dont blame me as my exams are going on... so here on this page comes the after effects of my not studtyin for the exams... oops! did I write not studyin... neways now its written let it be.... Chalo then... i'll take ur leave...
BBye
Take care

And Wish me luck for Exams.....
Yours
Manish

Oh those 4 years in college...

2006-04-30T20:00:00.000+05:30

The cool wind gushes by,

I stand still in the open sky,

Up and high the clouds fly,

The memories come flooding to thy,

All the friends walking by,

Also the girls, to whom I was shy,

The green grass on which we used to lie,

Looking at the bluest of the blue sky,

To Canteen's patties, pasteries and pie,

The night parties we used to enjoy,

The drinks and smokes we used to try,

In fights setting standards high,

To gibing at lecturers n Profs passing by,

From freshers day to farewels suit and tie,

And many more things,that my thoughts belie,

The meaning for me of the 4 years gone by,

It was like a star studded night sky,

And now its the time to say goodbye,

To a life that made me laugh and cry,

Now I am a free bird in earnest to fly,

But to a destination not known to thy,

Alone, alone in the open sky,

With no 4 years to share my sorrows and joy.

Those 4 years have passed by...........

I dunno :)

2006-04-18T02:02:00.000+05:30

Well writing a post after some time... but this also isn't something great... these were the few lines written by me... while having a talk with my friend.... I don't know if these make any sense... but then thought should put it here... so here are they... :)

I walk, walk through the life,
See the world, world in binds,
Live the life, life so confused,
I meet, meet and part in life,
Think about good, good & bad alike,
Take the pen, pen down the thoughts,
Close the eyes, eyes so beautiful,
Deep within, within feelings came & go,
I am awake, awake but not concious,
Well just learn, learn bout life,
Alone in chain, chain in the mind,
Free to fly, fly with full freedom,
Reach to thy, thy is the kingdom.

P.s. Well the title of the post just came to my mind... just as I dunno y...

Parting... that never was.... :)

2006-04-10T22:30:00.000+05:30

A few days back, I had a gud fight with one of my best friends.... as usual, it started on some idiotic note and don't knw how it ballooned into a heated argument... which resulted into solid fight. Well, after the fight, we both were sulkin (haha... I knew bout myself n later bout my frnd ;) ). But the fight was such huge that we both were unwilling to talk to each other.... so now what to do... our ego's were turning out to be bigger than us....
Later on, after some time I realised that I am hurtin myself more by losing such a good frnd... and then I felt very bad... so I told myself... even if we are partin ways.. it shud be done in a very nice manner.... there shud be no hard feelings.... so just out of the blue... i jotted down somelines.... and sent it to my frnd....

Here are those lines :

"i learnt a lot from u, i taught a lot to u,
i fought a lot with u, I listened a lot to u,
i made fun of u, I made a fool of myself for u,
i scolded u a lot, u returned the favour on spot,
i made u angry at times, u made me angry at times,
i spoke a lot bout u, I never knew bout u,
i was a child, u were a child,
I was similar to u, u were similar to me,
I thought all was fine, u were on cloud nine,
I failed to understand u, u never told me what u thought,
I almost lost u, u justs thought the same,
I have now lost u, life will never b the same,
I cherish our talks n fights, the wrongs n rights,
the darknes n lights, the song n sights,
but all is gone, n none is here,
Life gave a beautiful friend,i lost the gift,
life taught me a lesson, never to cause a rift."

Well... the lines had their effect.... there was a reply on mail.... and after that we resumed talking... so its like "all well that ends well".... Neways, but I revised an ol' lesson... a broken friendship is more painful, than a hurt ego.... so never try to bring ego in between the frnds... just try to sort out the matter....

Njoy ur time on earth
Manish

P.S. - Had nothin new to write... so had written down.. this incident :D

Hmm...

2006-03-29T22:39:00.000+05:30

I look towards the grey sky, the floating clouds there abound,
The gentle breeze moving them, they are just like - lost n found,
Sinking into the deep within, memories are floating by,
Somethings look lively enough, still a missing feeling is thereby,
Symphony turns into cacophony, brightness leads to darkness,
Like drenched in chilling rain, feet routed in the ground,
Unable to hear in the splashing sound, the lost me making sound,
What I take as victory peals, is the sobbing self within reveals,
Standing in the known crowd, still making the self alone,
It is all real or illusion, the sound melancholy or confusion,
The body is to be wasted, soul is to be released,
Still thinking as though taking all, all thats around me,
And ultimately when the time comes, I am the only one,
The uniting of the soul has come, with almighty I become one,
Its again the clouds sound, the feeling remains sound,
What hav I lost n what hav I found, alone in crowd is my destiny abound,
And waiting for God to say - Lost n found.

Random thoughts...

2006-03-23T20:11:00.000+05:30

Ha.... finally here after a long time... ( well for me it was a long time.. :D). Well, I still had not formed my mind so as to what will I be scribbling here so am just putting the casual thoughts that are coming to me. For, past few days, life was sort of just passing by.... and me was just whiling my time away.... anyways, today was feelin nice so thought to jot down something...

Actually, this is my third attempt to put down something as with the last two I was not satisfied. Words don't seem to be too willing to come out from within the soul... as this is the place one should listen to. Too much of heart makes the dish too sweet and too much of brain makes the dish too sour the best combination is from the soul as it has got a perfect balance between the too. It knows what preperation is to be served - a lil sweet a lil salty ;) Soul is the reason of your existance.... without it you cease to exist anymore... So, I always try to listen to the inner voice as for me it pays... even if initially it seems to be too harsh or too mellow... but later on the results are just great. Then be it in my personal life or my career. I do not say that the result is always in your favour but it teaches you too much for you to regret it.
Well, talking bout things... there's nothing much going on my side... I am not doing anything, still I dont have time... I am thinking but still nothin useful comes out.... I am muddled up and still I scribble down something.. bout which I myself dont knw much. Life is just taking me for a ride for a past few days.... I dont knw whats the reason... as am smiling but the smile seems to be false... I am laughing but it seems to be hollow and I am writing but it seems to be devoid of any meaning.... Well, well... the story is unending so I dont want to let ti drag n for the time being this is there on my blog.... But I assure u all something nice will be coming up soon.... :D ... Till then bbye.... take care and enjoy ur time :)

I had taken this picture a few days back, when had gone to outing with my friends and had a great time... I was just held by the way these empty boats were floating in the water.... they seem to tell me something but alas I am not able to find the hidden meaning but am njoyin the pic :)

Varanasi,Benares, Banaras, Benaras, Kashi, and Kasi

2006-03-12T17:16:00.000+05:30

A couple of days back... the whole of India shooked under the twin blasts that occured in Sankatmochan Temple at Varanasi. It looked as though again a war is awaiting the Indians, so that they are never able to rest peacefully. The blasts were also of no meagre measure, they were of high intensity and the day was also symbolic. But, the main point behind the whole issue was to create unstability in the country at large and also to challenge the country and its people at the same time.
I myself was shocked at the news of the blasts and it shook me deep within, seeing the place of the blast - A Temple. A place of worship, a place of faith, a place of peace.... What did the people, who did it, gain out of it? Did it serve some useful purpose, did it satisfy their thirst for blood or did it pacify their already overflowing emotions.... nobody knows that, but its sure that they are not humans or rather they cannot be considered as humans. What does a person or persons gain out of killing their fellow beings - it only shows their mentality - a sick mentality. People are being butchered at the place of faith.
And the irony of the whole thing was , the blasts had occured at a place that itself means to give respite from trouble that is, Sankatmochan ( one who relieves you of troubles) and now his own home is in trouble - wah.. what an irony. All this is enough to shake one's faith in the lord and for some people it did also... ( I was also skeptical....) that sometimes even the almighty seems to desert you. But, then an incident occured in my life and it again proved me wrong about the creator. An incident which made my faith in the all powerful stronger than it had been before, and dispelled all my misgivings about him. I faced the worst crisis of my life and came out unsracthed.. literally... Anyways, it was bout me... but there are still hundreds who have their faith shaken and I am sure that the all powerful will make them realise about his existance sooner or later as required.
God Bless All

P.s. The title of my post lists out all the names Varanasi was known as.

Who's busy these days...

2006-03-04T16:05:00.000+05:30

Ha... oh... it looks like everyone is n was busy for a few days.... what to say I too was busy.... but still can't say that I did something useful... It looked as though time was just rushin past the few days, was not able to complete a number of tasks on time and so on. Even now had got some work on hand.. but ab aisa laga ke bahut ho gaya, mujhe ek break chaheye, and what is better than writin a post on the blog.
Past few days in India, a number of important events took place... startin for the presentation of the budget by our finance minister to the arrival n then the departure of the president of US Mr. Bush, to the die hard fans of cricket the ongoing test match between India and England ( where Indian camp is in shambles ) . These were the few events I noticed in the past few days, for rest I wasn,t even aware of whats goin around me. Had a solid workload from my college and the from today we had our mid-sems so will be cutting this sorry state for a couple of days more..... now thats enough of my lamenting....
Coming, back to the recent topics the most important with common mans point of view was the budget, though I was not able to browse through the whole speech, what I gained that he left the tax structure as it was but he increased the service tax to 12%. Now, its like I am not askin for dowry but yes, will take whatever you give to ur daughter like a car n all... What is this Mr. Finance Minister, you make us pay tax in a different sort of way... we are already reelin under a lot of tax pressure n u increased the service tax more, which irrespective of your income, you have to pay to have any service. He also increased the service tax net, well thats okay, but the increase will be pinching... now for u all see it translate into an increase in your mobile bill, your laundry bill, increase in cost of daily good n vegetables ( as they are using transport industry.. :) ) and so on....
The second thing was the excise cuts... here people were very happy that the FinMin has reduced excise for small cars... n immediately the manufacturers dropped the price but on the other hand, he made the OEM accessories more costly and unviable... so now forget, the accessories that your dealer offered yo for free... so more or less you gained nothing. The icing on the cake was the levying of tax on computers... now here the catch, we want to make India an IT superpower and our FinMin helps the cause by raising the enrt barrier ( read costly computers ) thats the irony of India and its people. The man at the centre is fooling round everyone and people are very happy with him... Though some of his efforts are worth applauding but then most of the things done the our Hon. FinMin has left a gaping hole in the wallet of the middle class people of the country....
These were some of the things I got to know bout the budget, while am waitin to study the thing in full but as of now... this was what I felt bout it... so here my opinion..... And about the visit of Mr. Bush... well I'll leave something for next time also ;)
Till then I'll take your leave..... Hope to see u all soon :)

P.S. : well my heading of the post and the content is all irrelevant so try to bear with me, and dont throw curses on me :)

Goals...

2006-02-25T23:56:00.000+05:30

I was just havin a chat with one of my friends and we just hit upon the word GOAL... For each one of us the word has got different meanin but the essence is same for all of us... the ultimate aim or desire... I would stick to " Aim" as the meanin as it sounds good ;)
We all have a goal in mind all the time which we achieve to reach by our efforts... the goal may be a short term or long term it may be a career oriented or social one... but yes they are always there. We sometimes find the path to them as difficult but the apex is always beautiful... Its just like soccer, where u have a goal with the path full of obstacles(opponents) and when u put the football in the goal ( thats ur aim in the match).. u feel the feelin of elation... u see urself on the top of the world at the moment and thats the moment of glory for you. Same is the case of life... we all have the goals set for ourself as I said before and when the crowing moment comes we are on the top of the world...

But then one thing comes to my mind, are material goals the real goal of one's life... I am at sea regarding this point as one should be aware of his ultimate aim in life... does playin in the muddy puddle of money or makin the best of ur life. What does it really matter? Keepin a Maybach or sleepin peacefully every night. Can all the money in the world but the smile for ur family, well thats hard to say. As for some money is everything. Theres no denyin the fact that yes money is always needed but some social or spiritual goal is also needed. As without the food for thought, how can we make sure that we are developin our thinkin process. Without some different sort of goal in life we are completely clueless about where are we headin, what is the inner aim of ourselves... and in the end we realise that its late... we then search for peace which is always within us n never searched for... so make a goal in life that caters to ur spritual as well as mental development apart from the day to day business and see the changes that occur in u as well has how they have impacted ur life.....

"Life as a human is a special gift of god, so dont waste it but give urself some food for thought."

Don't Know Y???

2006-02-21T22:34:00.000+05:30

For past couple of days, I was not in my senses, meaning... I was just lost. I was not doing anything, just eating and napping. My mind was full of things but I wasn't able to make out them. This was givin way to an uneasiness within me, as when you are not able to have clear thoughts you don't feel you as yourself. I was in utter confusion, it looked as though my brain was givin a error of memory overflow.... and then also I was helpless.
I listened to music which relaxeed me a bit but that was not enough, I made drawings but that also wasn't good... at the end of the day I was just fretting over small things, but as it had to be things were getting worse. Last nite, I did some light reading which relaxed me to a great extent and this made my day better today, while for the final touch I thought that why not write out some post so that my excess of energies (positive or negative) are spent out and I become calm once again. The worst part was that I was not able to give out energies in the usual ways... anger, hitting walls, shouting etc.... It was all jumbled up. But now after writin out something quite haywire here, I am feelin better. I dont knw the real thing.... I don't know anything...I don't knw the surroundings......

I don't know why? Why does it happen? Why does it not go? Why does it makes u sad? Why does it makes you feel bad? Why do u not feel yourself at the time? Why is that it happens anytime? Just Why? Why are there no answers?

Mereko TAG kiya :) ... khush mat ho... hate waala tag hai... :P

2006-02-17T00:54:00.000+05:30

" There's nothin to be hated in this world, its all about how you look at things"

Hahahaha... Arti tagged me. Its bout the things that annoy me the most... Well sometimes nothing can annoy me, while sometimes even the slightest thing can annoy me to the hilt. But, if speaking my mind things are not bad... its the way your mind sees them... if not in good spirits anything can annoy you. Like that its all personal perceptions... But now I have to go on with my list of things that I hate or that annoy me the most.... so here are somethings....

I hate those people don't put in efforts for their goals and when they fail, they blame their fate and luck. They don't realise that it ws their fault and not bad luck.
I am annoyed by those who just think that except their own work, everybody is doing some crap of work.
I hate those who are more interested more in what others are doing rather than concentrate on their own work.
I detest those who keep double standards, saying something else and doing something else. Also those of the species who are more interested in back-biting.
I abhor hypocrisy.
I am annoyed by those who think public places are their drawing rooms, and having no consideration for other people. Smoking like an engine, talking like a loud speaker.... and what not.
I really get angered, by those who think the whole world except their home is a garbage dump.
People who are more ready with excuses, than their work annoy me truly.
I abhor those of the kind who think they are the law makers for the society and when it comes to their own lifes.... then its like " laws are made to be broken...."
I am annoyed by those persons who are made to laugh at each and everything, be it grave also. And makin fun of the less fortunate ones, than them.

Last but not the least, all the bad things within me, annoy me to the maximum, as they are cause for my debacle in one way or the other. and by removin them I hope to refine myself.

Chalo... ab major work to ho gaya...likhne ka major work.. but when going thru the post I thought certain changes to be made... but then its the first thought that matter as they show what were ur immediate reactions and whats going on in your sub-concious. Neways, now comes the interesting part.... samajhe nahin kya... arey tag karne ke liye koi ... nahin to phir is tag ka yahan dardnak aant ho jaayega... isiliye... I want to say ki koi mil gaya...to a chalte hain shikar pe... aur yeh hai mere hit list ... :P

well... till now these are the people... but as alwys those who want to follow me can always follow me...

P.S: Kuch baatein rah gaye aur kuch mein zyada he kah diya. Par then its life... :)

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

2006-02-14T19:28:00.000+05:30

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!!!!!

Light...

2006-02-12T22:55:00.000+05:30

Follow your heart and let god show you the light to lead the way...

I don't know... Why?

2006-02-10T22:55:00.000+05:30

"The words are flowing,
without any meaning,
The sounds are deep,
into the heart they seep,
Tears run dry,
then why do I cry,
I think the world is clean,
but truth is its too mean,
Am I too innocent I say,
in answer I receive a nay,
Its all in me and am in all,
this is the earths mall,
I sit and contemplate,
Why do we ever hate,
For all these,I just get a word EGO....
Then why don't we all let it GO.............."

I was just sitting and thinking about life. Today had no definate plans whatsoever.. to update my blog. Just a lil' while ago was talkin to my friend and during it I was thinking bout the human nature. Well I am not anybody to comment on human nature but then I had some points in my mind, so thought to have them here....
Why can't ppl take failure in stride? Why don't they accept it as a means to learn something? Why there is always a hesitation to ask something from a person, who is in some way lesser than you? Why do it is that ppl think that the whole place is against them? Why do ppl remain closed and say that the worlds not friendly? Why do we not be normal with our opponent? Why is it anybody with knowledge is considered as a preacher? Why is it so there is always a big "I" in each and every task? Why??? Why???? Why?????
To all the questions I find it hard to find out the answers... there are things common to them but still each in itself is different. We are all friends but then also we are alone. I am at a loss of thoughts and words... its so simple and yet its complicated. It was a simple path, now turned into a maze...
We all are a family and still I am deserted.... well still contemplating on the issue.

P.S. If this post doesnt make any sense don't mind it.... just written my random thoughts.

Ek sanam chahiye....

2006-02-09T11:51:00.000+05:30

Nahin........... kyon log mujhe tag kar rahe hain..... Well I have been tagged earlier by Doll
and then by Nidhi so I think ab mujhe kuch likhna he padega about my perfect lover :) ... or my soul mate ( sunne mein accha lagta hain na....) Isiliye ek saman chahiye aashiqi ke liye.....
To chaliye hum aur aap.... err.. sirf hum dekhte hain kaisa hoga mera perfect lover :)

Rules of the game are....
1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover.
2. Need to mention the sex of the target.
3. Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their comments saying they have been tagged.
4. If tagged the 2nd time, there is no need to post again.

Sex target : hmmm.... good ques...... arey itna sochna kya ...female he hona chahiye ....

1. Shud b Understanding : She should have great sense of understanding... meanin she should not be of those kind which are " All show but no go".... a person who understands the other person is always a help and they usually make a great pair..

2. Good at heart : She should be good at heart.... as " Seerat sundar hone chahiye... " a person beautiful at heart is liked by everyone....

3. Friendly nature : Should be my friend for life... cheerful in nature and helping to all....and same for me....

4. Optimist : Mere jaise koi optimist hona chahiye... as I prefer positive ppl round me, who look at the sun at horizon as a sunrise not sunset.....life ke liye positve outlook is very necessary in time of crisis.... to manage it....

5. Respect : should respect my family and its values and also should command respect as its a mutual thing...

6. Independent : should have her own identity... and should srtike a balance between profession and family.... same for me....

7. Should be havin a good taste for clothes but yes not be too shopping savvy.

8. Hahahaha.... should not be a villainous type from Ekta Kapoor serials...... and also no senti stuff from the same genre.... sweet n simple is what I like.....

arey yeh kya 8 pts itne jaldi khatam ho gaye.... hmmmmm..... well now will have to search for 8 ppl to tag.... and thats tough as most have been tagged.... so known or unknown b prepared to be tagged.... :)

aur koi nahin mil raha tha... to jise bhi lagi mujhe follow kar sakta hai...
abhi ke liye itna kaafi hai... milte hain ek break ke baad.... :)

Thoughts in random...

2006-01-30T23:17:00.000+05:30

Got nothin new to write, so now whatever come to my mind will be down here... I don't know what will the final result but then lifes like that you never know the final outcome.. you can just predict... but then truth is stranger than fiction...

One cannot predict what will happen to him in future... talkin bout future... one cannot say bout the next moment... whatever may happen one should always face it and accept it... as its one's dharma to do his karma and not worry bout the result... :) .. thats what the age old teachin goes from GITA... but do you think it applies in the present world...

Do we work on that principle? Do we really not worry about the outcome of actions we take? Are we really that detached that we continue to work even if we are not gettin any positive outcome? Well, thats to say I study for my exams n don't worry bout the results :D ( hey.. then why am i so tense on the results day???? ......) I work at office n I don't worry bout my appraisals and promotions.... hahahahahhaa....... ( Then Y work day n night.....) Or furhter more I write post on the blog and then wait for ppls to react.... ;) ( well, yes ppls reaction is a result.... ) ..... pata nahin aur bhi kai baar hum log results ke liye he kaam karte hain....

This is the truth thats prevailing much today.... and does it have a sense of fulfillment... sometimes I feel yes there is, while sometimes there isn't. God knows what and where he wants to take us. Does he pulls the strings or have we broken away from him or is it we were never under him? Many questions but no answers.... many myths but no explanations.....

Yes, but am still searchin for the answer..... and the search goes on..........

Memories...

2006-01-24T18:17:00.000+05:30

"As I sat by the river, looking at the flowing waters...
a ripple made me see, my yesteryears in the mirror...
the age of innocence, the brashness of a young man...
the making of a man, to a frail old man...
The waters said to me " Enjoy as much as you can...
for this is how your story ran..."
I lived my life again, felt the time become still...
And carry these moments to the end, I will... "

The word that makes you feel happy... sad... good... bad... beautiful... ugly... and a great variety of feelings is "memories" ..... memories of your life..... those you have lived in.... those which you are creating.... those which you will be wanting to live again and again. They are a very part of our existance.
Well well... let me tell you , how I got to this word or thing.... actually today my college was closed... so we friends (4 of us) decided to go for a drive and some timepass.... while on the move my friend said that we have just bout 4 months of stayin together and after that we will be parting and goin for jobs etc. This thing make me realised the 4 years we had spent together and all the fun we had. My mind was flooded with all the memories of past years.... the fights we had... the fun ....the teasings.... affairs.... parties and much more. This all made me feel little sad bout leaving my friends but then life is all bout changes and one has to be ready to accept those changes as they come. We all thought bout the our lifes after college... and decided that the time we are left with will be utilized to full and we will make the most of it, so that these pleasant memories will last long.
So, this was the genesis of the topic for me. I sat there thinking over it and realised that yes... someday or the other we have to leave and all that is left with us are the memories, which have accumulated over a period of time. We search into them when we are alone and have no one to comfort us. We look for those sweet moments that still make us laugh... tears make up for the sad ones... they give us the strength as well as weaken us... this is the thing that man wants the most and hates the most... as its a double edged sword...
Well well things have to go this way only.... people get sad when they are parting but then they dont realise that they are only leaving people behind but taking memories with them. You cannot always have your own way... if it was like that, then we would never let our near and dear ones depart from the earth... and yet they depart leavin a whole lot of memories behind them. Yes, it feels sad to leave someone behind but then sometimes its necessary and who says to leave someone behind, we can always be in contact and still be friends, but also we will be making new friends at new place. Memories are those which lie in the heart and they remain there till the end. Its upto a person how he looks at them.....
And I always want to have memories of those pleasant times that I had with my friends, family and everyone throughout my life.... they mean a lot to me.... they form a basis of my existance and they just remind me that I am not alone...

Expectations...

2006-01-15T23:29:00.000+05:30

"I won't talk to him first, he should call me first."
" I won't talk to you, you never tell me anything."

Well these are few of those incidents that we face in our day to day life. We are always expecting one thing or other from someone around us. When we have a tiff with our friend, we always expect him to break the ice. We are always expecting a thing or other at every moment... but then we fail to realise that... havin expectations are ok, but when they are not fulfilled, we should have the heart to accept it. But, that does not happen always. We are hurt in some way or the other due to the incident and remember it over period of time as basically, that breakin of our expectation has hurt our ego and when ego is hurt... the scars remain....

From, the time we are born, expectations are born with us as is our ego... we expect our mother to know that we are hungry and feed us.... if not we cry like hell and then only after some persuation do we quiten. When, we grow older, we expect our parents to fulfill our demands , then be it rational or not... remember the day when your father forgot to bring the toy, u were expecting, n how you felt... your heart ached, you refused to have food that day... and your parents were troubled with your behaviour.... But for u the toy was more important not your parents n their troubles at that time. It was like that, How could they forget my toy.....
When we are in our youth... expectations grow by leaps n bounds... we are constantly expecting a thing from someone or other.... from parents, from friends , from teachers etc... but, we forget that the more we expect, the more trouble we are creating for ourselves.... as unfulfilled expectations are not easy at heart... they make us sour, for the time being, we lose control of ourselves.... n thats the worst a man can have for himself as when you dont practice self control, your actions belie you n those moments have great influence on your surroundings...
All said true,.. but its hard not to have expectations, as if one achieves that feat he is as good as one who has renounced the world... So, I dont say to forgo all your expectations, but yes, somethings can be done bout it.... we can always make ourselves ready for any situation, for any critical moment..... But one foremost thing that, we should always try to limit our expectations... and also when we are expecting something from someone, it should be within rational limits, worldly matters should be kept in mind and so on....
There are many things in this context, which I am still exploring, but have realised one thing truly, that the less the expectations the more happy you r, as surpirses always make you happy.... in other words, the unexpected is more pleasant n joyous that expected ones.... just remember the times when there were good surprises for u, an unexpected b'day party or an unexpected gift.... and how happy you were at that moment..... as if you would do anything to live that day again...... yes, thats the power of the unexpected........
So, just be calm, be cool, n live the life in a noble fashion........ set benchmarks for your ownself and try to match them.... leave the world aside.......... just try not to expect from them, but try to keep your expectations to yourself....... n always try to fulfill them n njoy the essence of success...... God will be always there with you!!!!!!!!

Laugh.... laugh.....laugh............

2006-01-11T23:05:00.000+05:30

"Laugh n the world laughs with you.........
Cry n you cry alone............"

Its an age old word of wisdom, that when u are happy the whole world seems to be beautiful to you, while when u r depressed the world becomes drab, with all the colors missing from it. Its all the perception of your mind... its how u would like to see the surroundings n you see it in that way. You r totally oblivion to the feeling of others around you, the beautiful sounds of life does not find the way to your heart... they just get stuck up in the way n get lost in your body..... We just try to alienate ourselves from the reality or I may say that "circumstances"... b'coz its only the escapist who get frustrated and don't want to look into the face of life and accept the challenge... they r the ones who just say that life is difficult or its tough to survive in this big, bad world...... but then to their own knowledge there are others who r surviving n leading a happy life... its just the perception that needs to be changed.
We all like a person who is smiling n happy all the time... he's the person who's sought by people for comfort, they like to share their problems with him as they know that, he can provide a solution to the problem. The world always looks upto the one who is ready to face any kind of situation and that too with a smiling face. The reality hits hard but when you take it into your srtide it hurts you less, than when you try to deny it. The more willingly you accpet the facts and ponder on them for a possible solution, the more clear headed you will be. Life throws many challenges to you and then sees to it that how you face them. You can only help other, when you yourself are having an uncluttered mind. An open mind is always ready to welcome than a closed mind as in the closed mind, there is always paucity of space... while in an open mind there is always abundance of space....
Laughing and crying are both the part of the life, its only upto you, which of these two - you want more of- a good laugh or a bitter weep. Change the perception towards life and see it changes its way towards you....... if you spread laughs, it will give you laughs and if you spread bitterness, it will give bitterness to you.... It only reflects whatever your actions are... and same is with the world. You get back what you give to the world. So, if you spread laughter.... your life will be filled with laughter...... so, its always better to spread smiles...... grins....... giggles.......... n a wholehearted laugh.... and then see the whole universe returns it to you......

Timepass..... ;)

2006-01-08T22:05:00.000+05:30

Today, I had my XAT paper as usual.... kuch nahin bana paper mein :) aur mujhe to neend bhi bahut aa rahi the.. to I was just thinkin ke kab paper khatam ho aur mein ghar par aake so jaaun...khair no probs... Any how the paper went by... n the ordeal was over. Now was very happy another paper went by.... as yesterday was just thinkin that for whole round the year the only work that I do regularly is to give exams.... apart from daily chores ;) Each n every month ther is some sort of exams... some regular college some competitive etc... only thing is that ke now exams don't make me tense. They just come n go by just like a bad dream.... but one that haunts you for a good number of years n that too on a regular basis....

Well, speakin bout other things... today I was not in a state to write something of my usual stuff... my mind is on a holiday for a couple of days... so its me in the orignal form n scribbling all over :D ... Its just like blabbering unlimited hehehehehe..... but then its ok.... Life's like that only... the more we make ourselves njoy it the more it seems to b beautiful... the more we worry bout it the more it gives us reasons to b tense... so, I usually spend a day or two without my mind... whenever it starts to overflow with all crap bout the world.... it empties itself in a day or two... relexes a bit n is again ready for duty in this ol' model.... so no worry, no tension, just timepass thats goin on in my life...... n till its time for a next write-up.... a very big hug( jaadu ki jhappi) n au revoir............

Out of my mind

2006-01-04T19:25:00.000+05:30

Hi, friends wishing you all a Very Happy and a Prosperous New Year...... I know that I am somewhat late in wishin, but as it is good wishes are always welcome :)

2005 has been a year full of happenings... for me it holds both pleasent and pinching memories... but then life's like that... nobody can dictate it, its always bout trying trying n trying... sometimes you suceed n sometimes not..... nyways, on the last day of 2005 I was reading a book titled " Out of My Mind " ( from here comes my post's title..) by - Richard Bach.
It was certainely a wonderful book... a book that makes you see youself in a different perspective... a feeling of surprise sweeps over you, when the things said by the author start making sense... Its all bout the 'Mind' ... yes, the most powerful tool god has bestowed upon us.
All that goes around us makes an impression on our minds..... in a better way - in each and every action we do, our mind is involved... All things generate out of our mind, it has got tremendous amount of power... its upto you, how you utilise the potential of your mind... Thats why, all those who practice meditation are usually fresh n feel always cheerful, as their mind is fresh due to meditation which brings bout an air of calmness with it...
We always look with awe to those who have been able to control their mind... we all try to control our mind on similar lines but in vain as it requires practice, just like " Rome was not built in a day". What we do, we think, we dream - all has got link to our mind... it only determines our success or failure, how well we are able to control it the more it reflects on ourselves... A calm and cool mind is the solution to all problems... while an agitated mind makes way for more trouble...
Thus, to make most of ur mind, one should be able to control his mind and the one who controls his mind conquers the world.

Happiness...

2005-12-29T15:41:00.000+05:30

" Happiness is not an absolute quantity, but a relative one...
from person to person, the definition of happiness differs...
but yes, one feeling is common...
you feel happy when you spread happiness..."

When, I was 4yrs of age I got my first bike... that day i felt very happy.... it lasted for few months. When, I was 6yrs of age I got my first remote controlled toy.... again I felt very happy... it lasted for about a month. When, I was older still I got my first computer.... this time my happiness lasted for a few weeks. Later, when I got my first scooter... the joy lasted for about a couple of weeks.The joy of a new mobile lasted for a week...
Slowly, very silently, my feeling of happiness was decreasing day by day..... but I was not aware of the fact... I became used to this type of feeling....... getting hold of a thing for a moment feeling good and at the next instant forgetting it...
It was that the real feeling was missing and deep down the heart I knew this... I had to feel the feeling... ( confused...) basically I was not gettin the feeling of being happy... its an internal feeling that u get to feel when you are really feelin good..... Of all the incidents I mentioned above its very difficult to feel good even for one of them when I remember them today.... yes, but at those times I was elated....
These materialistic pleasure now seem to be just to something that was keepin me away from the real joy of the life... I was just like a leaf in the storm who follows the winds but is not trying to change its direction... just getting blown in the world without any resistance... I then resisted and thought over the matter... that what made me feel happy and realised that while making others happy kept me happy and I could still feel it fresh all through my life...... its like making people smile... making the world feel the essence of life.... making the things come alive.... yes these are all different forms of happiness... but I feel them inherintly, I never had to say myself its there... b'coz it makes me feel it....
I never felt so happy when I made my family feel happy..... made my friend feel good.... made the neighbours getting the feel of joy... making a stranger "smile"..... because I never expected anything in return and just wanted to make the world a better place to live in.... yup materialistic things make you happy but thats short lived, the real happiness is one that you can still feel over the time..... N so I just ask one question

"When was the last time you experienced real happiness......"

And in the answer lies the truth of life...... that life's too short to be sad, so why not be happy.....

Footprints in sand....

2005-12-24T18:16:00.000+05:30

Today, I had my exam and I messed it up..... I was feelin too low after that and was just tryin to find out reasons why I failed to do well ( basically, i was not searchin for reasons... but blamin the circumstances and people, for the debacle, so that I would feel good!!!).... but things seemed to turn to worse....instead of feelin better I was feelin more and more troubled at heart...... Ah! then I got the thing the best way to dispel the feelings..... complain to god.... just tell him it was not done... he's not being fair to me... he's made the world bad... blah...blah....blah.... Wah! Wah! I was feeling relaxed...... how nice...... ah ha! feelin great......n then the hell broke lose - a huge wave of guilty feelin swept upon my earlier feelins...... :((
I just asked myself that Why? Why am I blamin god? After all it was not his fault.... it was my fault... n then came to me the line of the poem that I had liked since childhood.... and which had gives me courage and strength each time I read it....... Its a very well known poem... read by all but understood by a few.... if everbody understands it they would see a change in their lives....
As its my favourite poem, I am quotin it here :

"Footprints in the Sand"

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?”

The Lord replied,
“The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
is when I carried you.”

By:Mary Stevenson

Failure....

2005-12-20T17:02:00.000+05:30

"SUNRISE or SUNSET : its in the eyes of the beholder"

Tears were rolling unabated... the sky looked hazy... the sun was setting... in horizon or in his LIFE!!! Sometimes, he looked at the letter and sometimes towards the sky, as though questioning god... " Was this done or was it another beginning ?"
The letter just said " you failed..." but to him it looked like a wave washing away the castle built in sand... and the whole crowd around was sneering at him.... He had worked so hard for two whole years to pusue his goal, only to find that it still was much farther.... as the letter said you failed...

Failure is one thing we all (most of us) are afraid of... we never want to face failure in life, then be it any field... personal or professional... spirtitual or material..... But what we don't realize that failure is a part of the game... there is no fire without smoke.... no heads without tails.... no success without failure... If achieving success was that easy, then nobody would have ever failed... but yet people fail.... And they fail again and again. But only some succeed... WHY? beacuse they learn from their failures... one who introspects himself and sees to Why? Where? When? did I go wrong... was I lacking in commitment or lost the track of my goal? was I striving that hard or was it all show no go? What was it. And the answer comes from within...
Failure is just one of the way in which god tries to teach us lessons of life... he wants that we all should always live life and that too a life with meaning.... n whenever we become complacent he just pulls a string here and one there and we are again there from where we started... for he thinks that we need to learn some more lessons....
So, always take failure in your stride and analyse what all did go wrong... and I assure you for sure that the answer will come from within... don't blame the world just ask god... and he's always there to help you. So, don't get disheartened and don't crib.... start anew and victory will be yours...........

Feelings...

2005-12-16T11:09:00.000+05:30

Yesterday, I was havin a chat with one of my friends... while chattin we just came upon the point of hurting someone - one who is near n dear one. We both gave our point of views and the talk continued. Later on, as I sat thinkin about that topic, it looked as though it had some underlyin meanin. I just asked myself... How would I feel if someone closed to me hurt my feelings or he betrays me? it was tough to answer that question. Why? because when something happens to oneself we come to know that, how much that action hurts. We usually never want to face the reality. But, yes, once in our life time a situation will come when we will have to face the music and then the truth will dawn upon us. Usually, it happens with all of us that when we are in a agitated state of mind, sometimes we speak or do things, which accordin to us are right but we don't take into consideration, how would they impact our family or friends. And, these moments, however small they are, could impart a scar on the relationship for a lifetime. Nobody's perfect but still we all can try to be good human beings... even if we can't praise somethin we should refrain from criticising. So, be happy n spread happiness!

There are few lines, I got from somewhere, which I liked n I'm quotin -

"What HURTS u the most?
Being hurt by someone, you 'TRUST' a lot,
Or being trusted by someone, you've 'HURT' a lot,
Just Think!!!!"

Peace

2005-12-07T23:41:00.000+05:30

My, exams are round the corner i.e from day after tomorrow and I am really not serious about them till date. I am unable to understand why am I not serious, even though these are my 7th sem exams and the marks of these exams have a significant presence in my degree........ :((
Kya bolo main, life to jaise lagta hai ruk si gaye hai mere liye........... it all looks dark and scary to me.... I am not really able to decipher what life wants from me - at this moment......... what has it in store for me........ but sometimes all the optimism fades and it look dark .... dark......... dark................
And I don't want darkness......... all I want is light..... a divine light that will help me wade through the dirty waters........ I want that all powerful, who is the source of all energy to guide me, make me understand the nuances of life.... help me understand the world better....I want him to talk to me.....
As to me the world dosen't seem to be natural anymore without his guidance.... it looks more of an animated affair...... the occurrence of this thought ony pricks me to the depth of my soul........ my heart bleeds as to why? why? why? am I not able to understand this place that I live in....... my soul gives out piercing cries but nobody hears them........ eyes are burning with tears in them..... but I am alone............ all alone in this place............ on this land.......... nobody is mine and I am nobody's....... all the bonds seem to be falsified and only one truth seems to prevail, in which's search I am in........... the ultimate reality......... the ultimate truth.............. the essence of life........
yes........ I want to discover the truth and fuse myself into it........... so that I may find, atlast the thing we all want - PEACE!!!!!!!!!

Life and me

2005-12-05T01:08:00.000+05:30

As, I say, take life at its face value, its too easy to say but hard to practice. It looks quite simple to make such a statement, but it rather concerns with unravelling the mysteries of - Life. I always try to introspect myself and try to discover more of me. Its seems to be a very boring task at first, but as I go on exploring further, I start enjoying. I enjoy more and more, with time and eventually I realize that externally also the world seems beautiful to me. I have started appreciating the things near me and feel a sense of calmness round me. Everytime, I discover something new, I think over it and see if it is doing me good or causing me harm. These, things may sound trivial but are very important. Atleast, they made me change my outlook towards my life and life of those around me. I realized, that until and unless I know myself, how can I proclaim to know others. And, the irony being that sometimes, even my whole life is too short to know myself, as I usually choose the wrong path. We always, want the people near us to change, be it our parents, friends, spouse or relatives. But, have we ever tried to change ourselves - hardly ever. Why? because its easy for us to complain and get away, but difficult to find the right cure. My mind is not ready to accept that yes, I can be at fault, but its always the other way round. And in the whole process we keep loosing ourselves and finally a stage comes that we are afraid of our own selves. As it seems to be a complete stranger.Why, I say all this is because I have experienced a part of it. Earlier, I used to be such a person myself- complaining and complaining. But, then one incident changed whole of my life, that is, it shook me deep within. Then, for the first time I realised that I was loosing a track of myself, I am loosing me in the crowd, I started to fear some part of me. It was at that time that I took the decision and with a brave face - faced my life. To my utter disbelief, it was not that bad, yes I was made to own my mistakes, which was hard but it always taught me something or the other, which helped me later on to cope up with my external world. Like this i befriended my life and now we are the best pals.

New Life

2005-12-02T03:16:00.000+05:30

This is my first blog. Previously, I had never been intrested in blogging, but seeing my friends doing it I wanted to give it a try, so I am here. Its just like entering something new, or say a new life. The life of cyberworld..... full of own virtual selfs rather a way to put up your thoughts to a whole new set of people. Those are like you, all lost into this virtuality. But, all more than alive.... it seems contradictory but then its true. We all search our lives for something meaningful or we can say truth, but when it comes to light we are not ready to accept it. Acceptance is the key to all things, accept things at face value and you find things going the easy way for you.